tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-59851347481983552922024-03-08T03:34:05.688-08:00Meant to LiveMonica Drakehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08712645346613506234noreply@blogger.comBlogger404125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5985134748198355292.post-39044298969660262172024-01-10T07:32:00.000-08:002024-01-11T10:43:13.632-08:00The struggles of doing 'Dry January' when you're socially anxious<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjG-awv2lKRrI-BACgRcgxweGvOAhwgVW4tsbSQEfXq0hSe2kkob-EiqIc1yoUbsCMMJSIFz9wnVge0f-HR04l2DKNjJOpb-qlt-MyGqGqKi2UGvnxhdk28s5mCt-5OShp8LZtU-KxQhzfijWfsmnFkguQafXhaQYNIzf9UxiB6qyeAbC1D7-ro8J21AVvQ/s1200/January%202024%20blog.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="630" data-original-width="1200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjG-awv2lKRrI-BACgRcgxweGvOAhwgVW4tsbSQEfXq0hSe2kkob-EiqIc1yoUbsCMMJSIFz9wnVge0f-HR04l2DKNjJOpb-qlt-MyGqGqKi2UGvnxhdk28s5mCt-5OShp8LZtU-KxQhzfijWfsmnFkguQafXhaQYNIzf9UxiB6qyeAbC1D7-ro8J21AVvQ/s16000/January%202024%20blog.jpg" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEihEUlf-Hv2nUZk0sEOv5_Z3FgqjOgtuVvxPF--7FJrXC6wbqsSWUjgD56AqDn1aMdrD2e5ijfDEOF5zpCUCItD4vSuKYwF6pkWuRN00Dbr99s0CoUA5fEISibNoS_5rTRnWNRs7eZ2CeIz_z0bA7OsbUVVWJ7mitSBi1lXfovNH6S2kYIfXVv1J0OrtA" style="caret-color: rgb(33, 33, 33); clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><img alt="" data-original-height="56" data-original-width="915" height="55" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEihEUlf-Hv2nUZk0sEOv5_Z3FgqjOgtuVvxPF--7FJrXC6wbqsSWUjgD56AqDn1aMdrD2e5ijfDEOF5zpCUCItD4vSuKYwF6pkWuRN00Dbr99s0CoUA5fEISibNoS_5rTRnWNRs7eZ2CeIz_z0bA7OsbUVVWJ7mitSBi1lXfovNH6S2kYIfXVv1J0OrtA=w880-h55" width="880" /></a></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">"When you have social anxiety, the first two drinks don't count. They just turn you into a normal person."</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />Whenever that meme shows up on social media, I always laugh because...yeah...that definitely describes me (although turning me into a "normal" person is probably a stretch. It's more like those two drinks make me stop caring about acting like a "normal" person). And now that I'm in the midst of "Dry January," I'm even more painfully aware of how true this is. </div><div style="text-align: left;"> <br />For those of you who don't know what "Dry January" is, it's when you kick off the New Year by abstaining from alcohol for one month to help reset your body after all the drinking you did over the holidays. My husband's friends have been doing this since I met them, and this year, I decided to join in for the first time. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">After my godmother's death shortly before the holidays, to be honest, I'd been drinking more than usual. I was trying to numb the sadness and trying to still be "fun" at Christmas parties. And I could feel myself getting dependent on it. I knew it wasn't healthy, so I figured this would be a good time to take on the "Dry January" challenge — and also a good excuse if anyone bugged me about why I wasn't drinking. But I didn't know how difficult it'd be, even at only a week and a half in (though, to be fair, I did start on New Year's Eve instead of Jan. 1, which was definitely rough). </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /><div style="text-align: left;">So, what have I learned so far? Well, it's only heightened my awareness of how awkward I can be, and how much I use alcohol as a social lubricant. It's also made me question everything I say before I say it, and it's made me super self-conscious of being boring in conversations. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />I know I'm not alone; it's common for those with anxiety to use alcohol to cope with stress and to help them feel more comfortable in social situations. But it's also important to take a break from alcohol every once in a while for the sake of your health — and to consider cutting it out completely if drinking impacts your everyday life. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />So, if you have anxiety like me, and you're struggling to do Dry January — or Dry February, March, April, May, etc. — what should you do?<i><b> NOTE: These tips are not for those struggling with alcohol use disorder. If you think you have a problem with alcohol or are having </b></i><i><b>withdrawal symptoms, please talk to your doctor or call the <a href="https://www.samhsa.gov/find-help/national-helpline">SAMHSA National Helpline</a> at 1-800-662-4357.</b></i></div><div style="text-align: left;"><i><br /></i></div></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-weight: normal;">First, remind yourself that you'll feel worse before you feel better.</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></span>For those who are regular drinkers, a sudden change in this habit will likely cause you to feel irritable and possibly depressed. That's because alcohol does temporarily relieve your anxiety, so when you stop, the hormones rebound and spike to higher levels than before, the <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2024/01/02/well/eat/dry-january-health-benefits.html">New York Times </a>reports. The time it takes to rebalance your hormones varies depending on how much you drink, but, for moderate drinkers, your body's balance will begin to be restored within a few weeks. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />So, while you may feel like throwing in the towel on this challenge by the first weekend of January, remind yourself that you won't feel this way forever. In the long run, drinking to inhibit your anxiety is a vicious circle — drinking to feel less anxious, feeling more anxious because you've been drinking, and then drinking more to stop feeling anxious about drinking. But give it some time and you'll enjoy not waking up with the thought, "Oh no, what did I say/do last night?!" And, once you give it a shot, maybe you'll realize you actual enjoy your conversations with friends more when you're sober (and that you'll be more likely to actually remember what was said). </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">If you're struggling more with the societal pressures of drinking than actually not drinking, sometimes it helps to give your hands something else to do (get your mind out of the gutter, I don't mean anything dirty). Sometimes, I struggle at parties just because I don't have a drink in my hand or don't have something to sip when there's a lull in the conversation. But there are plenty of mocktails and non-alcoholic beers that can give your hands something to do and make you feel like you're still part of the fun. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />There's also nothing wrong with avoiding outings at bars if you're struggling. Prioritizing your own mental health is what's most important. With December being go-go-go all the time, I've already slowed down in January, especially since I'm not drinking. I've spent time getting to know myself again and enjoying time by myself. I've been writing more in my journal, watching comfort movies, catching up on text messages and emails, going to the gym, and getting eight to nine hours of sleep each night. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">When you do hang out with friends, there are alternative activities you can suggest doing that don't involve booze, like having a movie or game night, going shopping, going to a fitness class, visiting an exhibit, seeing a play, starting a book club, etc. Bonus: These activities will give you something to talk about — or they'll give you something else to do besides just talking — if you're struggling to be social while being sober. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />But, for me, the thing I worry about most is that I'll be boring if I don't drink. After all, I'm often the first to suggest a round of shots and to order cocktail #2 during a night out. And I realized, after putting together a video recap of my entire 2023, that, in most of the clips I selected, I had been drinking. This made me worried — what if not drinking makes me not as fun?</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />But, as psychotherapist Amy Morin writes on <a href="https://www.verywellmind.com/how-to-go-out-when-you-re-quitting-drinking-4788307">Very Well Mind</a>, "When you walk into a situation believing that you can’t have fun sober, this is likely to be a self-fulfilling prophecy. You might even isolate yourself or hold back from having a good time—which will then reinforce your belief (and others) that being sober makes fun impossible."</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">"(Instead) enter into the situation with a positive attitude, and make the best of your time, even if you’re the only one not drinking. You might actually find that being sober is more enjoyable than you predicted."</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />And, to be honest, yes being around a bunch of people who are drunk when you are sober probably won't be as much fun as if you were drunk too. But that's not because you're boring. It's because being drunk numbs your senses to make you think you're having fun. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />Author William Porter writes in his book <i><a href="https://alcoholexplained.com/">Alcohol Explained</a></i>, “Alcohol doesn’t make things more interesting; it makes your mind stupid so that things that would otherwise have bored it are suddenly enough to occupy it.”</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />Before you knock it, get to know the person you are without alcohol. Spend your weekend mornings doing something productive, instead of staying in bed until late morning/early afternoon with a hangover. Think about the goals you've wanted to achieve that you may have been putting off. Revel in how much healthier you feel when you cut out the 100 to 300 calories per cocktail, and the money you're saving when you're not spending $10 to $15 per drink. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />And, even if you are doing this for only a month, studies show that the benefits last even longer. It provides the opportunity to form new habits and can lead to a significant reduction in alcohol consumption in the future. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />“The objective of Dry January is not long-term sobriety — it’s long-term control,” Richard Piper, the CEO of <a href="https://alcoholchange.org.uk/">Alcohol Change UK</a>, the nonprofit that first started Dry January told the <a href="https://www.washingtonpost.com/wellness/2022/12/27/dry-january-health-benefits/">Washington Post</a>. “It’s about understanding your subconscious triggers, overcoming those, and learning how good it is to not drink. It gives you the power of choice for the rest of the year.”</div>Monica Drakehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08712645346613506234noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5985134748198355292.post-80817824612274546922023-12-20T08:18:00.000-08:002023-12-20T09:16:09.093-08:00Learning how to take care of your mental health: It's not a one-size-fits-all solution<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbyOvX1OxtBgO1BWdyDF2yvzZkKyosiF9Fs0rNP3GT1stFQfA7P9cJo0sTgROxGW9xJaLxqTOCa70OY-k72W5bGkVeGxn4uGlG2Z0g2oMwE2YOmEzMJi6q7NM9jsJ3DJe-GLWJCitiBvH57O5-rPNTXLZ23_j3Q2SkSROy20WBM9MY9J9cgp4Q58msc2Du/s1440/Mental%20Health%20Stock.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="754" data-original-width="1440" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbyOvX1OxtBgO1BWdyDF2yvzZkKyosiF9Fs0rNP3GT1stFQfA7P9cJo0sTgROxGW9xJaLxqTOCa70OY-k72W5bGkVeGxn4uGlG2Z0g2oMwE2YOmEzMJi6q7NM9jsJ3DJe-GLWJCitiBvH57O5-rPNTXLZ23_j3Q2SkSROy20WBM9MY9J9cgp4Q58msc2Du/s16000/Mental%20Health%20Stock.jpg" /></a></div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEihEUlf-Hv2nUZk0sEOv5_Z3FgqjOgtuVvxPF--7FJrXC6wbqsSWUjgD56AqDn1aMdrD2e5ijfDEOF5zpCUCItD4vSuKYwF6pkWuRN00Dbr99s0CoUA5fEISibNoS_5rTRnWNRs7eZ2CeIz_z0bA7OsbUVVWJ7mitSBi1lXfovNH6S2kYIfXVv1J0OrtA" style="caret-color: rgb(33, 33, 33); clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="56" data-original-width="915" height="55" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEihEUlf-Hv2nUZk0sEOv5_Z3FgqjOgtuVvxPF--7FJrXC6wbqsSWUjgD56AqDn1aMdrD2e5ijfDEOF5zpCUCItD4vSuKYwF6pkWuRN00Dbr99s0CoUA5fEISibNoS_5rTRnWNRs7eZ2CeIz_z0bA7OsbUVVWJ7mitSBi1lXfovNH6S2kYIfXVv1J0OrtA=w880-h55" width="880" /></a><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Yesterday, I discovered something that doesn't help my mental health. And it's something a lot of people actually swear by. Of all things, I found out that a coloring book — yes, a coloring book — actually made my anxiety worse, not better. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />I know, I know, many people find coloring with crayons or markers, like they did as a child, to be soothing and therapeutic. There have even been <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC9773305/">scientific studies</a> done about the health benefits of coloring. That's why, when my anxiety was particularly bad last night, I thought to myself, "I should try out this coloring thing!" </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />I dug a coloring book and markers out from a drawer, and for a couple minutes, I was like, "Yeah, okay, this is helping!" But that feeling didn't last. Every time I colored slightly outside the lines, my anxiety grew worse. And then I tried to mix colors, and the colors started bleeding together. Although it was probably salvageable, I went into a tailspin, started hyper-fixating, and, naturally, completely destroyed it. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />After about an hour of this, I forced myself to put that mess of a coloring book page back into the drawer. Then I proceeded to berate myself, calling myself incompetent and telling myself I was wasting my life away. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">I know it's freaking ridiculous! All over a COLORING BOOK! A coloring book that, ironically enough, is titled "Peace and Calm Coloring." But that exercise in mindfulness turned out to be an exercise in a meltdown for me. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />After taking the time to calm down (and, of course, taking a Xanax), I realized it's okay that something which helps a lot of other people doesn't, in fact, help me at all.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />Learning how to take care of your own mental health is not a one-size-fits-all solution. It's trial and error, and it's a process. Writing, listening to music, dancing around the house, taking a hot bath, watching a comfort movie, and, for some reason, doing the dishes — those are the things that help me. They may not help you, and that's okay. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">The only way you can figure out what helps and doesn't help your mental health is to try it out. Buy a coloring book and try it out. A lot of people have found that it reduces stress, stimulates creativity, and increases mindfulness. And, even though it didn't work for me, it may help you.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />Also, remember that something that helps your mental health one day could not help the next. Maybe, if I give it another chance, coloring could help me like it did when I was a kid. Maybe it just wasn't helpful with this particular panic attack. Or maybe coloring with crayons instead of markers would help. I won't know until I try.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />Other common activities that may help reduce your anxiety include:</div><p></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>Quick bursts of movements, like doing 20 jumping jacks or running in place when you start to feel anxious.</li><li>Practicing mindfulness by focusing on your senses. Close your eyes and really taste your coffee in the morning. Light a candle or use essential oils and breathe in the scents. Focus on your sense of touch by using a fidget spinner or popping bubble wrap or holding onto an ice cube. </li><li>Moving your phone out of reach. If I find myself doom scrolling on social media, sometimes I will throw my phone across the room (onto the soft surface of the couch, I'm not an animal!) to make myself stop.</li><li>Taking a walk outside. Even if it's cold outside, bundle up and go outside, because daily sunlight and fresh air have been proven to increase serotonin levels. </li><li>Try journaling. If I'm feeling particularly anxious, sometimes I will start writing in a stream of consciousness, which often helps me identify my feelings. That's actually how this blog started —me just scribbling in my journal.</li></ul><p></p><div style="text-align: left;">Self care is a journey. Sometimes it's a pain the ass to discover what works and doesn't work. It takes a lot of learning and a lot of patience, but it's worth it. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />Let me know in the comments what works — and doesn't work —for you.</div>Monica Drakehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08712645346613506234noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5985134748198355292.post-76784821343373769632023-12-05T14:05:00.000-08:002023-12-07T11:12:12.352-08:00How re-watching movies and TV shows helps those with anxiety<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXH7mVbaeMlb60r64fWQPVmXB9g_uy7fvCM8JeeQ027Zrdtbn-FPbEhCXT1n7krLZA66Xq9kquZC2FCdNZLNZOWEBhdJwZ9CuBzth489g4_RObWyDvLaU2bQDkLvqETI4FyYEHCQ-nRuCx2onxl_qi0R0dz77JEE0m-FpeYZM-RGj_psR999grAcLLNMON/s1900/ComfortMovie-Blog.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1024" data-original-width="1900" height="435" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXH7mVbaeMlb60r64fWQPVmXB9g_uy7fvCM8JeeQ027Zrdtbn-FPbEhCXT1n7krLZA66Xq9kquZC2FCdNZLNZOWEBhdJwZ9CuBzth489g4_RObWyDvLaU2bQDkLvqETI4FyYEHCQ-nRuCx2onxl_qi0R0dz77JEE0m-FpeYZM-RGj_psR999grAcLLNMON/w810-h435/ComfortMovie-Blog.jpg" width="810" /></a></div></div><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEihEUlf-Hv2nUZk0sEOv5_Z3FgqjOgtuVvxPF--7FJrXC6wbqsSWUjgD56AqDn1aMdrD2e5ijfDEOF5zpCUCItD4vSuKYwF6pkWuRN00Dbr99s0CoUA5fEISibNoS_5rTRnWNRs7eZ2CeIz_z0bA7OsbUVVWJ7mitSBi1lXfovNH6S2kYIfXVv1J0OrtA" style="caret-color: rgb(33, 33, 33); clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="56" data-original-width="915" height="55" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEihEUlf-Hv2nUZk0sEOv5_Z3FgqjOgtuVvxPF--7FJrXC6wbqsSWUjgD56AqDn1aMdrD2e5ijfDEOF5zpCUCItD4vSuKYwF6pkWuRN00Dbr99s0CoUA5fEISibNoS_5rTRnWNRs7eZ2CeIz_z0bA7OsbUVVWJ7mitSBi1lXfovNH6S2kYIfXVv1J0OrtA=w880-h55" width="880" /></a></div><p style="text-align: left;">As a kid, I used to find comfort in re-watching movies and TV shows. I've lost count of the times I've watched "The Little Mermaid," "Wizard of Oz" and old "Full House" and "Boy Meets World" episodes. </p><p style="text-align: left;">When I became an adult, I stopped doing this (with the exception of watching the "Barbie" movie three times this year). With such an overload of media, it feels impossible to keep up-to-date with everything I want to watch, let alone have time to re-watch old stuff. </p><div><div style="text-align: left;">But, I've found that when I'm feeling depressed or particularly anxious, I will revert to that old childhood habit of watching movies and shows I've already seen. And, when I'm feeling like this, sometimes watching something new will actually make me feel worse. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />I know I'm not alone; it's a common phenomenon for people with anxiety to re-watch movies and TV series, re-read books, and re-listen to podcasts. But why is that? I think it's because their familiarity provides comfort. There are no surprises; we already know we love it because we've already seen it.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">There's nothing worse, in the midst of an anxiety attack, to watch a new movie, and you end up HATING it. Or, even worse, a dog or a cat dies in the movie. Even when the movie is good, you may be too anxious or sad to pay attention to it, so you zone out during entire scenes and have no clue what's happening. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />So, it makes sense that someone with anxiety would find comfort in this routine. When someone watches the same show multiple times, their brains process it easier than it would something new, according to <a href="https://www.theguesthouseocala.com/why-do-people-with-anxiety-re-watch-tv-shows/#:~:text=Among%20people%20with%20anxiety%2C%20it's,comforting%2C%20familiar%2C%20or%20easy.">The Guest House treatment facility</a>. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">"Their cognitive abilities are constantly cluttered by their worries. They have less cognition to give to any activity. Re-watching a show takes their brain less focus and cognitive effort to achieve the same effect," they write.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />For me, after the death of my godmother, life in general has felt uncertain and out of my control. As a result, the only reprieve I've had is while watching movies/shows I've already seen and reading books I've already read. Maybe it's because it's the only thing that feels predictable to me right now. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />I don't have the mental capacity to get to know new characters or follow along with new plots. Instead, I want to catch up with characters who feel like old friends, and I want to know that everything will work out for them at the end of the movie or episode. I know that Dorothy will, in fact, go home after clicking her heels together. I know Sam and Dean from "Supernatural" will defeat that vampire, werewolf, demon, etc. And I know that Kevin McCallister will outwit the burglars in "Home Alone." </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">"Nostalgia can lend us much-needed context, perspective and direction, reminding and reassuring us that our life is not as banal as it may seem. It also tells us that there have been, and once again will be, meaningful moments and experiences," psychologist Neel Burton told the <a href="https://www.huffpost.com/entry/why-we-love-rewatching-shows_n_566b102fe4b0f290e522fd95">Huffington Post</a>. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">So, if you are rewatching something, don't feel like it's a waste of time. Just like sleeping isn't a waste of time, rewatching something has a way of re-energizing us after we feel depleted. And, doing something that makes you feel better — I would never consider that a waste of time. We all have different ways of coping, and I think anything that makes your life even the slightest bit easier is worth it. </div></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><h4 style="text-align: left;">What are your favorite movies and TV shows to rewatch? </h4><div style="text-align: left;">Some of mine are "Never Been Kissed," "The Holiday," "13 Going on 30," "Freaky Friday," any of the "Spiderman" movies, and, of course, "Wizard of Oz." Let me know in the comments what yours are! </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Here are some of the answers I got from you on social media:</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">- "The Nightmare Before Christmas"</div><div style="text-align: left;">- "The Birdcage"</div><div style="text-align: left;">- "The Choice"</div><div style="text-align: left;">- "The Longest Yard"</div><div style="text-align: left;">- "Gilmore Girls"</div><div style="text-align: left;">- "Schitt's Creek"</div><div style="text-align: left;">- "New Girl"</div><div style="text-align: left;">- "How I Met Your Mother"</div><div style="text-align: left;">- "Parks and Rec"</div><div style="text-align: left;">- "Friends"</div><div style="text-align: left;">- "The Office"</div><div style="text-align: left;">- "Fleabag"</div>Monica Drakehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08712645346613506234noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5985134748198355292.post-75596677976150407912023-11-22T12:46:00.000-08:002023-11-22T13:12:25.591-08:00Remember to avoid overeating on Thanksgiving <p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyBS5CcC5zTHED5HX5GivRCOQe70Yc2zQApPnJWOGiKjcY9xtyjfXqrwI3mTsGfqU5RoirdkT-ScrjPJLb90oQ7HrIWQReHbauBPjO0jN5gU99nF6HUOEHb1WWo72bu1uDIaVJZIsHmHxhHb4EuheYzfPEbkPSH6hrU1YmylwlQ19qeuGeZ_YmKECK_vyj/s500/a7c2134bb1b2ddb83b469761e82dc5e9.gif" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="220" data-original-width="500" height="376" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyBS5CcC5zTHED5HX5GivRCOQe70Yc2zQApPnJWOGiKjcY9xtyjfXqrwI3mTsGfqU5RoirdkT-ScrjPJLb90oQ7HrIWQReHbauBPjO0jN5gU99nF6HUOEHb1WWo72bu1uDIaVJZIsHmHxhHb4EuheYzfPEbkPSH6hrU1YmylwlQ19qeuGeZ_YmKECK_vyj/w855-h376/a7c2134bb1b2ddb83b469761e82dc5e9.gif" width="855" /></a></div><p></p><p style="background-color: white; color: #777777; font-family: Lora; font-size: 14px; line-height: 26px; margin: 0px 0px 20px; padding: 0px;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEihEUlf-Hv2nUZk0sEOv5_Z3FgqjOgtuVvxPF--7FJrXC6wbqsSWUjgD56AqDn1aMdrD2e5ijfDEOF5zpCUCItD4vSuKYwF6pkWuRN00Dbr99s0CoUA5fEISibNoS_5rTRnWNRs7eZ2CeIz_z0bA7OsbUVVWJ7mitSBi1lXfovNH6S2kYIfXVv1J0OrtA" style="caret-color: rgb(33, 33, 33); clear: left; color: #ceb23d; margin: 0px 1em 1em 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration-line: none;"><img alt="" data-original-height="56" data-original-width="915" height="52" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEihEUlf-Hv2nUZk0sEOv5_Z3FgqjOgtuVvxPF--7FJrXC6wbqsSWUjgD56AqDn1aMdrD2e5ijfDEOF5zpCUCItD4vSuKYwF6pkWuRN00Dbr99s0CoUA5fEISibNoS_5rTRnWNRs7eZ2CeIz_z0bA7OsbUVVWJ7mitSBi1lXfovNH6S2kYIfXVv1J0OrtA=w850-h52" style="border: none; height: auto; margin: 0px; max-width: 100%; padding: 0px;" width="850" /></a></p><p>I’m not going to say you should try to be healthy on Thanksgiving, because screw that! This is definitely a day to wear pants with an elastic waistband. And it’s a day to never utter the vilest four letter word of all – diet.</p><p>What I am suggesting though is to remember not to overeat. </p><p>If a second round of mashed potatoes is passed around the table and you are full, don’t feel bad for saying, “No.” And, if you know pie is coming for dessert, remember not to gorge yourself during dinner.</p><p>I’m saying this because I cannot tell you the amount of times I’ve forgotten to do just that. I see all the amazing food, and I'll unhinge my jaw to fit as much inside my mouth as I can. And then, without fail, I feel completely miserable afterward. And, instead of wanting to interact with family members, I just want to curl up on the couch and die. </p><p>It’s common to feel depressed, to experience anxiety, and to, overall, just be uncomfortable after eating beyond the body’s need for food. </p><p>“Overeating causes the stomach to expand beyond its normal size to adjust to the large amount of food. The expanded stomach pushes against other organs, making you uncomfortable. This discomfort can take the form of feeling tired, sluggish or drowsy,” senior research dietitian Erma Levy tells the <a href="https://www.mdanderson.org/publications/focused-on-health/What-happens-when-you-overeat.h23Z1592202.html#:~:text=Overeating%20causes%20the%20stomach%20to,also%20may%20feel%20tight%2C%20too.">MD Anderson Center</a>. </p><p>One way to avoid overeating is to make sure you eat a normal healthy breakfast the morning of Thanksgiving. I know it may be tempting to skip this meal in an attempt to be able to eat more, but experts say this isn't the solution. </p><p>According to <a href="https://blog.insidetracker.com/skip-breakfast-on-thanksgiving">InsideTracker</a>, "Research shows that skipping breakfast doesn’t translate into lower daily calorie intake. People that skip breakfast tend to compensate for their lack of morning intake with larger intakes at lunch and dinner. The same is true on Thanksgiving day; however, the foods that you will be compensating with are much higher in calories."</p><p>You can also avoid overeating by putting smaller portions of food on your plate. And skip over the selections you are only "meh" about. Don't waste precious stomach space on the foods you don't love.</p><p>Then, once you are done with your first portion, wait about 10 to 15 minutes before you go in for seconds. This is about the time it takes for your body to send fullness cues to your brain. After this break in eating, pay attention if you are still actually hungry – or if you’re just eating because the food is there. </p><p>For me, I feel like that extra piece of pie that pushes you over the edge just isn’t worth it. If I can go through the day without feeling like I'm going to barf, that is a personal win for me!</p>Monica Drakehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08712645346613506234noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5985134748198355292.post-28368657288437845142023-11-16T09:07:00.000-08:002023-11-16T09:46:02.271-08:00Dealing with the emotional hangover after an anticipated event is over<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgouTBNPkxrIyXHYqKFjDWtP30c0WGMkMO38cmVzVw7r8EFZyt9deOFS7ZIErocxDSsx1rRtpdmn-gb8umJypO0raCt-ABRSgbvBdgf0aePT6o92Rt3KnTvJ1-6z7RTwRdV_D_JA8l9emsYugwyFfGntcA9kcEEfDmhSnjiilF-j__SUydlJU776Q-TJKWo/s1000/Untitled-1.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="500" data-original-width="1000" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgouTBNPkxrIyXHYqKFjDWtP30c0WGMkMO38cmVzVw7r8EFZyt9deOFS7ZIErocxDSsx1rRtpdmn-gb8umJypO0raCt-ABRSgbvBdgf0aePT6o92Rt3KnTvJ1-6z7RTwRdV_D_JA8l9emsYugwyFfGntcA9kcEEfDmhSnjiilF-j__SUydlJU776Q-TJKWo/s16000/Untitled-1.jpg" /></a></div><p><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEihEUlf-Hv2nUZk0sEOv5_Z3FgqjOgtuVvxPF--7FJrXC6wbqsSWUjgD56AqDn1aMdrD2e5ijfDEOF5zpCUCItD4vSuKYwF6pkWuRN00Dbr99s0CoUA5fEISibNoS_5rTRnWNRs7eZ2CeIz_z0bA7OsbUVVWJ7mitSBi1lXfovNH6S2kYIfXVv1J0OrtA" style="caret-color: rgb(33, 33, 33); clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="56" data-original-width="915" height="55" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEihEUlf-Hv2nUZk0sEOv5_Z3FgqjOgtuVvxPF--7FJrXC6wbqsSWUjgD56AqDn1aMdrD2e5ijfDEOF5zpCUCItD4vSuKYwF6pkWuRN00Dbr99s0CoUA5fEISibNoS_5rTRnWNRs7eZ2CeIz_z0bA7OsbUVVWJ7mitSBi1lXfovNH6S2kYIfXVv1J0OrtA=w880-h55" width="880" /></a><br /></p><p>For more than a year, I had been planning a single event taking place on a single day. </p><p>It was the summer of last year when we set the date and booked the location for our wedding. Last October when we got our engagement photos taken. January when I picked out the dress I would wear. March when we booked our photographer and DJ. And that wasn’t even the half of it. </p><p>The eight months after that consisted of hair and make-up trials, dress alterations, the bridal shower and bachelorette party, making the invitations, picking out decorations, assembling the centerpieces, and more. This all consumed me up until the day of our wedding just a few weeks ago.</p><p>Then, in the blink of an eye, it was all over, and I felt like Brittany Murphy’s character from “Just Married” on her wedding night: </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='317' height='264' src='https://www.blogger.com/video.g?token=AD6v5dzpAW3AeXkPxX8ZQl56kERhDbVjQWlz-tMW5WLPGm3dZnKABIrYttAWcUYf_w9gArhxoO5fb7lMmy1oEXlDGA' class='b-hbp-video b-uploaded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div><br /><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">Now, it’s back to everyday life. Now, I don’t know what to do with the extra space in my brain that was consumed with wedding planning. And now, the only thing I really want to do is sleep – just go into hibernation like a bear.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">I know a lot of people experience this emotional “hangover” after something they’ve been looking forward to is over. It’s the same reason January is deemed the most depressing month of the year – because it’s after the holidays and back to reality. Well, for me, I’m experiencing that feeling two months early.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">So, what should you do if, when the thing you’d been planning is over, you suddenly feel unmotivated, listless and maybe even depressed? First of all, know that it’s normal to feel this way; you’re not being dramatic. Mental health professionals have even given this feeling a name: the let-down effect. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">"When we think about the process that goes into a big event, including the preparation and anticipation of the event outcomes, it comes along with a lot of dopamine release,” Dr. Elizabeth Fedrick, a licensed professional counselor in Arizona, tells <a href="https://www.livestrong.com/article/13773510-post-event-sadness/">Livestrong</a>. “(Then) all those biochemicals that had been flooding your body with excitement and anticipation start to deplete and are not as active.”</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">So, after the big event is over or a big project is completed, take the time to rest, like your body is telling you to do. And don’t feel bad about it. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">My now-husband and I spent almost the entire weekend after our honeymoon on the couch, binge-watching the show “The Bear” on Hulu. After being so busy for the last several months, it was hard not to think, “How are you doing nothing right now? You don’t have time for this! Stop being lazy!” </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">But for the first time in a long time, I actually DID have the time to do nothing. Take advantage of that time, and remind yourself that it’s okay to be lazy. You don’t need to feel guilty about it. Your body deserves – and needs – time to relax.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">"Rest and breaks are critical to your function, creativity, and overall wellbeing,” Lana Lipe, a licensed clinical social worker in Hawaii, told <a href="https://www.livestrong.com/article/13773510-post-event-sadness/">Livestrong</a>. “Your worth and value as a person isn't conditional, nor is it something you only deserve when you are producing something.”</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">It’s also important to take time to appreciate what you did. It’s easy in those quiet moments after a big event to focus on the things that went wrong. I will obsess over the little things, like the fact that hair and make-up ran late or that I completely forgot to order the late-night pizza at the end of the wedding reception, like I had promised. Knock that off! </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">F. Diane Barth, a psychotherapist and psychoanalyst, wrote on <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-couch/202111/after-the-celebration-what-do-you-do-post-event-blues">Psychology Today</a>, “Few things live up to our fantasies because our fantasies seldom include the problems of every experience. Before my wedding day, my sister-in-law told me to prepare for something really unpleasant to mar the day. ‘It’s inevitable,' she told me.”</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">Things go wrong; it happens to everyone. Remember, instead, to think about the good things! I will re-watch the videos on my phone of the bridal party laughing, and re-read the comments people posted on social media, saying how much fun they had. And I will remind myself, “Yes! I pulled it off!”</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">“Remembering and savoring the event, whether it’s through photos or telling people about it, can help keep the experience alive. Even though it’s done, you still have the memory,” says Dr. Shilagh A. Mirgain of the <a href="https://www.uwhealth.org/news/crash-landing-coping-with-post-event-blues">University of Wisconsin School of Medicine and Public Health</a>. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">“When you achieve (a goal), you receive something indefinable that is something you always carry. No one can take that away from you.”</div></div><p></p>Monica Drakehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08712645346613506234noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5985134748198355292.post-27024840412464976702023-06-28T12:59:00.005-07:002023-06-28T14:45:49.526-07:00If you are part of the LGBTQ+ community, know that you're not alone <p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-dXWSEek5074uxDRx5Lq2Wjr9DobaT-yyRtjj-3KleNcJd4UDnpXbaZFwDjRGvrDjUZab_Q2A0l19j4GICH71LOpOV_6N5THpno3AGRAfkFrem3rZA9o0gWuqh67r9ycV0-bi4VfmvexnW_Ke9QXL-xYdFYUdvstP9E3vmC15bNRmwuo-RHWyRvAKjh9w/s1800/Collage_2023-06-28_15_55_00.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1800" height="573" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-dXWSEek5074uxDRx5Lq2Wjr9DobaT-yyRtjj-3KleNcJd4UDnpXbaZFwDjRGvrDjUZab_Q2A0l19j4GICH71LOpOV_6N5THpno3AGRAfkFrem3rZA9o0gWuqh67r9ycV0-bi4VfmvexnW_Ke9QXL-xYdFYUdvstP9E3vmC15bNRmwuo-RHWyRvAKjh9w/w862-h573/Collage_2023-06-28_15_55_00.jpg" width="862" /></a></div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEihEUlf-Hv2nUZk0sEOv5_Z3FgqjOgtuVvxPF--7FJrXC6wbqsSWUjgD56AqDn1aMdrD2e5ijfDEOF5zpCUCItD4vSuKYwF6pkWuRN00Dbr99s0CoUA5fEISibNoS_5rTRnWNRs7eZ2CeIz_z0bA7OsbUVVWJ7mitSBi1lXfovNH6S2kYIfXVv1J0OrtA" style="caret-color: rgb(33, 33, 33); clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="56" data-original-width="915" height="55" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEihEUlf-Hv2nUZk0sEOv5_Z3FgqjOgtuVvxPF--7FJrXC6wbqsSWUjgD56AqDn1aMdrD2e5ijfDEOF5zpCUCItD4vSuKYwF6pkWuRN00Dbr99s0CoUA5fEISibNoS_5rTRnWNRs7eZ2CeIz_z0bA7OsbUVVWJ7mitSBi1lXfovNH6S2kYIfXVv1J0OrtA=w880-h55" width="880" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: left;">Attending a Catholic high school, none of my classmates publicly came out as part of the LGBTQ+ community until after graduation. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />I saw, firsthand, how some of my peers would date members of the opposite sex before coming out – and, in turn, how depressed they were while hiding who they truly were or pretending to be someone they weren’t. </div><p></p><div style="text-align: left;">That’s why it boggles my mind that some people still believe in the myth that “homosexuality is a choice.” </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">According to the nonprofit <a href="https://www.strongfamilyalliance.org/parent-guides/parent-guide-gay/myths-that-stigmatize-lbgtq-people/#myth1">Strong Family Alliance</a>, “Scientific data indicates that sexual orientation is biologically based. Homosexuality is no more a choice or decision than being straight. Asking a gay person, ‘When did you decide to be gay?’ is similar to asking a heterosexual person, ‘When did you decide to be attracted to people of the opposite sex?’”</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">LGBTQ+ individuals are more than twice as likely to experience depression, anxiety, and substance misuse compared with heterosexual individuals. On top of that, the rate of suicide attempts are four times higher for gay, lesbian and bisexual youth and five times higher for transgender individuals than for their cis peers. Whenever anyone says they think being homosexual is a “choice” – I always bring up these statistics and say, “Does that sound like a choice to you?”</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />Why are members of the queer population more likely to struggle with a mental health condition? No, they don’t struggle with their mental health BECAUSE of their sexual orientation or gender identity. They struggle with their mental health because of the way OTHERS treat them because of their sexual orientation or gender identity. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">According to the <a href="https://www.psychiatry.org/psychiatrists/diversity/education/lgbtq-patients#:~:text=LGBTQ%20individuals%20are%20more%20than,misuse%20compared%20with%20heterosexual%20individuals.">American Psychiatric Association</a>, “Like other minority groups, questioning and queer people are often misunderstood, overlooked, and underrepresented in the health care system and societal institutions.”</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />“Though legal protections have been increasing dramatically, many places do not protect sexual or gender minorities in the workplace, housing, or access to health care. Fears of potential discrimination contribute to some LGBTQ people not seeking the help they need—medically or psychiatrically—in a timely manner, if at all.”</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">This is why it’s so important, if you’re part of the queer community and you’re struggling with your mental health or just need someone to talk to, that you seek help. By being LGBTQ+, there are a lot of things you have to deal with, such as overt and implicit discrimination, that your cis and heterosexual counterparts don’t. And I know – it’s not fair, and it shouldn’t be this way! But know that you don’t have to do this alone. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />You can find a psychiatrist or counselor who is LGBTQ+ affirming by visiting <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/psychiatrists/michigan">Psychology Today</a>, clicking on the “More” button, and then checking “LGBTQ+” under sexuality. And, even if you’re not LGBTQ+, this is a way to ensure that your psychiatrist or counselor is open and accepting – which, to me, are two of the most important characteristics of someone who I’m blabbering all my dirty laundry to. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGWfL1FbonGfMO1ZhehdbvE3K5dSDRAiQjHHf_lkh91fZPkfXY6NN0XP-RfPrKxQtEFXDClA3J_zDyD6rsSFnfGaGl-ywAot88Oxcq_TcZwlKFccxmIjAyV60ibo_AagvaFxuP-8LZjq8JkR_llBwWXU51IgRuATxQu_A_jAzFUD0xB0lmuQZUk0-kTkXl/s1040/Screen%20Shot%202023-06-28%20at%201.26.22%20PM.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="426" data-original-width="1040" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGWfL1FbonGfMO1ZhehdbvE3K5dSDRAiQjHHf_lkh91fZPkfXY6NN0XP-RfPrKxQtEFXDClA3J_zDyD6rsSFnfGaGl-ywAot88Oxcq_TcZwlKFccxmIjAyV60ibo_AagvaFxuP-8LZjq8JkR_llBwWXU51IgRuATxQu_A_jAzFUD0xB0lmuQZUk0-kTkXl/s16000/Screen%20Shot%202023-06-28%20at%201.26.22%20PM.png" /></a></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">The Trevor Project is also a great resource. The organization provides 24/7 crisis support services to LGBTQ+ young people. Trained counselors are available all year round via phone, text or chat. You can call 1-866-488-7386, text “START” to 678-678, or visit <a href="https://www.thetrevorproject.org/get-help">https://www.thetrevorproject.org/get-help</a>. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />I understand that trusting and opening up to others can be hard. Afterall, with <a href="http://www.ncfh.org/uploads/3/8/6/8/38685499/fenway-adelante_-_lgbt_inclusive_care_-_2016.pdf">about 39%</a> of LGBTQ+ individuals saying that they’ve been rejected by a family member or friend, it can be hard to open yourself up to someone else, especially a stranger. But know that there are so many people who are here for you. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">That’s why I publicly announce that I’m an ally, why I wear a pin on my jacket that states “You can be yourself with me,” and why I write blogs like this. Because I want you to know that I am a safe space. This is also why psychiatrists and counselors make it a point to share that they are LGBTQ+ affirming. It’s why businesses fly a Pride flag, and why people post a rainbow on their social media – to show that we are here for you, we don’t believe the myths, and we know that being LGBTQ+ isn’t a choice. It's who you are, and we accept you and love you for who you are. </div>Monica Drakehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08712645346613506234noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5985134748198355292.post-29054238993731932982023-05-22T15:30:00.008-07:002023-05-22T15:53:00.795-07:00What's the difference between impulsive and intrusive thoughts? <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfxYrUAHOHQBBzzmNqMCB_gfZ_0dhDlmyyqGzn6jwD52G1s06qZmZjU4--FLJq9WehxhZNgaOyzZwqn5_hWoHv2GJTQa8qZJPvoF-G8C79LdrIqap77L_4Z-tW-vuHv1_3U1jtR_yWMjUvDtzVM8bIERGzEFBITqan-cvrkOSz7rasxTrv3R-XHsT9Hw/s6357/GettyImages-1302022308.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="4018" data-original-width="6357" height="456" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfxYrUAHOHQBBzzmNqMCB_gfZ_0dhDlmyyqGzn6jwD52G1s06qZmZjU4--FLJq9WehxhZNgaOyzZwqn5_hWoHv2GJTQa8qZJPvoF-G8C79LdrIqap77L_4Z-tW-vuHv1_3U1jtR_yWMjUvDtzVM8bIERGzEFBITqan-cvrkOSz7rasxTrv3R-XHsT9Hw/w723-h456/GettyImages-1302022308.jpg" width="723" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEihEUlf-Hv2nUZk0sEOv5_Z3FgqjOgtuVvxPF--7FJrXC6wbqsSWUjgD56AqDn1aMdrD2e5ijfDEOF5zpCUCItD4vSuKYwF6pkWuRN00Dbr99s0CoUA5fEISibNoS_5rTRnWNRs7eZ2CeIz_z0bA7OsbUVVWJ7mitSBi1lXfovNH6S2kYIfXVv1J0OrtA" style="caret-color: rgb(33, 33, 33); clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><img alt="" data-original-height="56" data-original-width="915" height="46" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEihEUlf-Hv2nUZk0sEOv5_Z3FgqjOgtuVvxPF--7FJrXC6wbqsSWUjgD56AqDn1aMdrD2e5ijfDEOF5zpCUCItD4vSuKYwF6pkWuRN00Dbr99s0CoUA5fEISibNoS_5rTRnWNRs7eZ2CeIz_z0bA7OsbUVVWJ7mitSBi1lXfovNH6S2kYIfXVv1J0OrtA=w745-h46" width="745" /></a></div><div style="text-align: left;">In the song "Serotonin" by singer-songwriter Girl in Red, she sings, "I get intrusive thoughts like cutting my hands off. Like jumping in front of a bus. Like how do I make this stop."</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />This is what intrusive thoughts are, but sometimes, people get "intrusive" and "impulsive" confused. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />Intrusive thoughts are defined as sudden, involuntary thoughts that are often repetitive and can be disturbing and distressing, while impulsive thoughts and behaviors aren't inherently dangerous. They are spontaneous ideas or quick actions with no thought to the consequences.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">"People tend to refer to intrusive and impulsive thoughts interchangeably. The phrase, 'My intrusive thoughts won today,' is even trending on social media, but most of the time it’s not used correctly," writes licensed clinical psychologist Dr. Sarah Gaumer on <a href="https://thepsychologygroup.com/what-are-intrusive-thoughts/">The Psychology Group</a>. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /><div style="text-align: left;">"Intrusive thoughts are more severe, graphic, and frightening than impulsive thoughts. If someone would act on their intrusive thoughts or if they came true, the consequences would be dire. ... People that have impulsive thoughts may actually like the thought or would find some type of pleasure, satisfaction, or humor from engaging in them. Simply, they do not feel guilty, ashamed, or frozen in fear at having these impulses."</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />So, if your "intrusive thoughts won," you'd probably be dead or in a hospital or in jail, but if your "impulsive thoughts won," you may just have ragged bangs that you cut yourself. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />I've definitely acted impulsively my fair share of times. I've been out with friends and decided, "I want a tattoo," then immediately went to a nearby tattoo shop and got one. While maybe I should've thought more about something that was going to be on my body forever, it's not like my impulsive act was dangerous.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />On the other hand, when I get an intrusive thought, it's something like "You should take a kitchen knife and drive it into your chest" or "You should walk into traffic" or "You should put your hand in the garbage disposal." This is obviously completely different than, "I'm gonna get a tattoo!" Intrusive thoughts are dangerous and something I should never ever ever ever ever act on. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />For the longest time, I thought it meant something was wrong with me. But, as Kelly Bilodeau, former executive editor of <a href="https://www.health.harvard.edu/mind-and-mood/managing-intrusive-thoughts">Harvard Women's Health Watch</a>, says, "While intrusive thoughts may be disturbing, they aren’t harmful or a sign that you have a secret desire to do the things that popped into your mind."</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div></div><h4 style="text-align: left;">Why impulsive and intrusive thoughts are misunderstood</h4><div style="text-align: left;">Intrusive and impulsive thoughts do have similarities, so it's understandable why they're often mistaken for one other. They are both fairly common, they can be symptoms of various mental illnesses, they're usually spontaneous thoughts, and they both start with the letter "I" and end with "sive." </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />If you've experienced either or both of these, know you're not alone. Everyone behaves impulsively sometimes, and intrusive thoughts affect about six million Americans, according to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />But, when intrusive or impulsive thoughts start affecting your daily life, it's important you seek help because it can be a symptom of a mental health disorder. Impulsivity is a symptom of borderline personality disorder, bipolar disorder, and attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, while intrusive thoughts are more likely to be a symptom of anxiety, depression, or obsessive-compulsive disorder. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><h4>When to seek help</h4><div style="text-align: left;">If your intrusive thoughts are affecting your ability to perform daily tasks and, especially, if you're ever worried you're actually going to act on these thoughts, it's crucial that you seek help from a mental health professional ASAP. Talk to your health care provider to find out what therapy is best for you. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />The Mighty contributor <a href="https://themighty.com/topic/anxiety/anxiety-ocd-intrusive-thoughts-wanted-to-harm-people/">Fairley Lloyd</a> said that a combination of medication and therapy helped her when intrusive thoughts were affecting her daily life and even her will to live. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />"One of the most important things I learned with therapy that I still take with me today is that not every thought reflects your beliefs. Thoughts are often random and come out of nowhere, but that doesn’t mean you have to entertain every thought you have. And, though it is difficult to ignore them when you have an anxiety disorder, it is possible to overcome the insurmountable responsibility you assign yourself to every thought you have that is not necessarily your own," she writes.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />While I've talked a lot about how harmful intrusive thoughts can be, impulsive behaviors can also be harmful. It's not just getting a random tattoo or cutting your hair (although if you're getting so many tattoos that you can't afford basic necessities <span face="Roboto, arial, sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #202124; font-size: 14px;">— </span>yeah, you should probably get help for that too). </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">For instance, one time when I was angry, I impulsively threw a TV remote across the room. This action didn't hurt anyone <span style="background-color: white; color: #202124; font-size: 14px;">— </span>except for that piece of plastic <span style="background-color: white; color: #202124; font-size: 14px;">— b</span>ut it was definitely not a healthy coping mechanism. It led to a huge argument with my fiancé, and was something I regretted immediately after doing it. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />If you lack impulse control, you are more likely to have anger and aggression issues, and it can also be a risk factor for addictive and other self-destructive behaviors. Of course, when this happens, that's when impulsivity becomes a problem. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />Because impulsivity stems from disrupted neurochemistry in the prefrontal lobe of the brain, medication can help decrease impulsive tendencies, and cognitive therapy can also be beneficial. For more tips on how to handle impulsive behavior, <a href="https://themighty.com/topic/mental-health/how-to-not-act-impulsively/">click here</a> to read on article on The Mighty.</div><div style="text-align: left;"> <br />If you are struggling with impulsivity or intrusive thoughts, talk to your primary care physician, who can treat mental health issues or refer you to a psychiatrist or therapist for additional help. If you or someone you know is considering suicide, call the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. </div>Monica Drakehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08712645346613506234noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5985134748198355292.post-27940175751415230042023-05-05T10:12:00.009-07:002023-05-05T11:18:16.386-07:00Mental Health Spotlight: Local businesswoman encourages others to believe in themselves<p><br /></p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfs2XnwKcot5fhU_KAspwemW1SHx4c683gnttRZt9dMpPInsfeSb1-lAsftW20GKVf86gHw3SQCeVOP_wY5pNi3ewhY9JqN_TsN2XkUcu31cggc18fFFvHN8fq-hIoVZZ9j6OI4ZoWVU_77njlw7BrZ4x7C0PtVmewlxXyMPhMm3wGkfNjUGeqdfHV_Q/s1920/Inkcourage1.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1920" height="553" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfs2XnwKcot5fhU_KAspwemW1SHx4c683gnttRZt9dMpPInsfeSb1-lAsftW20GKVf86gHw3SQCeVOP_wY5pNi3ewhY9JqN_TsN2XkUcu31cggc18fFFvHN8fq-hIoVZZ9j6OI4ZoWVU_77njlw7BrZ4x7C0PtVmewlxXyMPhMm3wGkfNjUGeqdfHV_Q/w982-h553/Inkcourage1.jpg" width="982" /></a></div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEihEUlf-Hv2nUZk0sEOv5_Z3FgqjOgtuVvxPF--7FJrXC6wbqsSWUjgD56AqDn1aMdrD2e5ijfDEOF5zpCUCItD4vSuKYwF6pkWuRN00Dbr99s0CoUA5fEISibNoS_5rTRnWNRs7eZ2CeIz_z0bA7OsbUVVWJ7mitSBi1lXfovNH6S2kYIfXVv1J0OrtA" style="caret-color: rgb(33, 33, 33); clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="56" data-original-width="915" height="57" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEihEUlf-Hv2nUZk0sEOv5_Z3FgqjOgtuVvxPF--7FJrXC6wbqsSWUjgD56AqDn1aMdrD2e5ijfDEOF5zpCUCItD4vSuKYwF6pkWuRN00Dbr99s0CoUA5fEISibNoS_5rTRnWNRs7eZ2CeIz_z0bA7OsbUVVWJ7mitSBi1lXfovNH6S2kYIfXVv1J0OrtA=w913-h57" width="913" /></a><br />You can do it. You are loved. Know your worth. You are a bad ass. It’s ok to not be ok. Nothing is impossible. <p></p><div style="text-align: left;">Doesn’t it give you warm fuzzies just reading these words of encouragement? I’ve had a particularly bad bout of anxiety this week with negative thoughts constantly intruding my brain – but seeing these words helped me feel better. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />The words were printed on magnets and temporary tattoos, laid out at a Mental Health Awareness Month event I attended yesterday. Ange Zelenak, founder of the Inkcourage brand and overall bad ass, was giving away these items and encouraging attendees to carry out random acts of kindness, such as saying thank you to a person who has influenced their life.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />Even though I just met her yesterday, I want to say thank you to Ange, who helped lift my spirits and bring a smile to the faces of everyone who attended Easterseals MORC’s Empowered Interactive Luncheon.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />I volunteered at the event with Blue Cross Blue Shield of Michigan, where I work, and I was lucky enough to meet Ange and hear her story. In a world where we are constantly bombarded with negative news, self-doubt, and people stampeding over each other in a race to the top, this movement of kindness that Ange has started gave me a renewed faith in humanity. And I hope her story inspires you as much as it did me. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><h3 style="text-align: left;">‘It all started because of mental health’</h3><div style="text-align: left;">Fresh out of college in 2016, Ange started the brand Inkcourage as a way to help her peers as they emerged into adulthood. Ya know, like applying for adult jobs, moving out on their own, deciding what they’re going to do with their lives, and all the uncertainty that comes during this stage of life. Ange said she went through her own mental health struggles in high school and college and wanted to help others not feel alone. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />“After college, it felt like we were all going through something, and we were worried about ‘What’s next.’ It was overwhelming, and I didn’t really talk about it because I didn’t think other people would understand. Then I realized everyone else was going through it too,” said Ange, who graduated from the College for Creative Studies with a degree in product design. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />Ange started out designing about 30 temporary tattoos, giving them to one of her friends who was going through a particularly hard time. The tattoos had positive phrases on them to remind her friend that someone cared about her. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />“It all started because of mental health. I know everyone is going through their own struggles – whether you want to talk about it or not – and it was really important to me to feel like I was there for other people. A lot of times in my life, I've felt isolated – and I know my friends have too – and I wanted to help others not feel that way. Sometimes we just need other people to remind us of our greatness or how awesome we are,” she said. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjx_6xAVMJ9PP72NGjXtaUXJVFJriSCuspr1QFQtOSsiuvuw11DsK5xuipiLbuJ7D8u8R_gPQHYKZoUUSCPUS8A73LK11WGmyGurGWIfomLFvOk7JFW4V8vhp3oY1KgYsRpK-QTPLXwh7ucGuMSohpyvgzUYsfP34NqY-RrVcwK-QRmQQb7U0Cbk8Qafg/s1319/Inkcourage2.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1319" data-original-width="1015" height="334" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjx_6xAVMJ9PP72NGjXtaUXJVFJriSCuspr1QFQtOSsiuvuw11DsK5xuipiLbuJ7D8u8R_gPQHYKZoUUSCPUS8A73LK11WGmyGurGWIfomLFvOk7JFW4V8vhp3oY1KgYsRpK-QTPLXwh7ucGuMSohpyvgzUYsfP34NqY-RrVcwK-QRmQQb7U0Cbk8Qafg/w257-h334/Inkcourage2.jpg" width="257" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMzfCu-3-omORQ1quOowVomiJIlYrq7jaE9RbXxTHIPE6AebweY-zDKB4NsEjZIx_oCYnUj__LaQPW9wiFM5SqnB9SIpP7Vvw_lqCYL9t4oCE79eQaL8jeJ-n-gj2lAC2awuQGvQYoXlNXb1exit5U4WW_RbdEzQFfAv8rml_AEq82GI0HbrZaLM3iwg/s627/Inkcourage%20building.jpeg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="423" data-original-width="627" height="321" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMzfCu-3-omORQ1quOowVomiJIlYrq7jaE9RbXxTHIPE6AebweY-zDKB4NsEjZIx_oCYnUj__LaQPW9wiFM5SqnB9SIpP7Vvw_lqCYL9t4oCE79eQaL8jeJ-n-gj2lAC2awuQGvQYoXlNXb1exit5U4WW_RbdEzQFfAv8rml_AEq82GI0HbrZaLM3iwg/w477-h321/Inkcourage%20building.jpeg" width="477" /></a></div></div><h3 style="text-align: left;">Dream Big</h3><div style="text-align: left;"><div style="text-align: left;">For six years, Ange sold her products online and at pop-up stores at Eastern Market and fairs across the state. But, just six months ago, she opened her own shop in downtown Royal Oak. There, she sells, of course, the temporary tattoos, along with shirts, hats, jewelry, coffee mugs, candles, stickers, buttons and more. She also hosts different events where attendees can connect with like-minded individuals while taking part in fun activities, like making candles or eating macarons. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />Starting her own business at age 23 and opening her own store at 30, Ange hopes she can help inspire others to follow their dreams. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />“I always tell people to go and dream big, and I decided I needed to follow my own advice. This is what I wanted to do – so I’m going to try it. Of course, opening up your own store is really scary, but you need to take risks and go after what you want,” she said. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />Some people may talk to their hairdresser or their bartender or their priest about their problems, and Ange has found, since opening the store, she has become that person for people too – a job which she has happily accepted. Even though she’s not a psychologist, she knows firsthand the power that comes from opening up to someone else – even, and maybe especially, to a stranger. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />When customers see “It’s ok to not be ok” at her store, they can tell – this is a woman who is accepting. This is a woman who will listen. This is a woman who won’t judge me. And this is a woman I can trust.</div><div style="text-align: left;"> <br />“A lot of people tell me their stories and feel comfortable opening up to me. I feel like they’re almost more relieved to tell a stranger than someone they’re close with. I don’t think they need someone to solve their problems; they just want to talk about it. We all need to let it out sometimes,” she said. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />You can visit Inkcourage at 220 W 4th St, Royal Oak, MI from 11 a.m. to 7 p.m. Tuesday through Sunday. For more information about Ange, her business and her empowerment movement, visit <a href="https://inkcourage.org">https://inkcourage.org</a> or follow her on Instagram <a href="https://instagram.com/giveinkcourage">@GiveInkCourage</a>. </div></div>Monica Drakehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08712645346613506234noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5985134748198355292.post-35952804369736486012023-04-10T14:35:00.005-07:002023-04-12T04:26:33.091-07:00Sad in the spring: Mental health challenges can strike during any season<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzVrhrKNQCm6YPXUxrncZCH1msrefx3fQrGkyF2g2_5FcEl9BD4NEaqkHmb54UixYyglyT1-RE-9yAQZOLDbvB-WmyIoOdhkpFdiTbe2IwC5vyDcOMLSaBFJyhZIwz3jjRniCvTE2gJwq7sWB6Qk9OZGtI7fuCXzGFThyQDvoB1hEpHV29uF9C3Z6uSA/s1906/SpringSadness.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1096" data-original-width="1906" height="616" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzVrhrKNQCm6YPXUxrncZCH1msrefx3fQrGkyF2g2_5FcEl9BD4NEaqkHmb54UixYyglyT1-RE-9yAQZOLDbvB-WmyIoOdhkpFdiTbe2IwC5vyDcOMLSaBFJyhZIwz3jjRniCvTE2gJwq7sWB6Qk9OZGtI7fuCXzGFThyQDvoB1hEpHV29uF9C3Z6uSA/w1070-h616/SpringSadness.jpg" width="1070"></a></div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEihEUlf-Hv2nUZk0sEOv5_Z3FgqjOgtuVvxPF--7FJrXC6wbqsSWUjgD56AqDn1aMdrD2e5ijfDEOF5zpCUCItD4vSuKYwF6pkWuRN00Dbr99s0CoUA5fEISibNoS_5rTRnWNRs7eZ2CeIz_z0bA7OsbUVVWJ7mitSBi1lXfovNH6S2kYIfXVv1J0OrtA" style="caret-color: rgb(33, 33, 33); clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="56" data-original-width="915" height="84" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEihEUlf-Hv2nUZk0sEOv5_Z3FgqjOgtuVvxPF--7FJrXC6wbqsSWUjgD56AqDn1aMdrD2e5ijfDEOF5zpCUCItD4vSuKYwF6pkWuRN00Dbr99s0CoUA5fEISibNoS_5rTRnWNRs7eZ2CeIz_z0bA7OsbUVVWJ7mitSBi1lXfovNH6S2kYIfXVv1J0OrtA=w1347-h84" width="1347"></a><br><div style="text-align: left;">I have noticed something about my anxiety over the years – that, almost every year, it feels like my anxiety heightens around mid-March/early-April. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br>Each year, it comes as a surprise to me. All of the sudden, I'm feeling overwhelmed and anxious out of my mind – and I think to myself, "What's happening to me?" And then I remember...oh yeah it's the beginning of spring. </div><p></p><div style="text-align: left;">But why March and April? I know it's common for the winter months to affect people's mental health. But the spring? When temperatures are finally getting warmer? Why would that affect my mental health?</div><div style="text-align: left;"> <br>I know that when someone struggles with Seasonal Affective Disorder, they usually start to feel down in the fall and winter and then they begin to feel better in the spring. For me, my mental health always feels at its worse around November and December, then I'm fine the rest of the winter, and then my mental health plummets again in the beginning of spring. Then I'm feeling better by the end of April into May and during the summer and even into the fall. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br></div><div style="text-align: left;">But, man, there's something about November and March that hit me hard. And the thing is that seasonal changes – and that means any seasonal changes, not just in the winter – can affect some people's mental health. And that's because, I don't know about you, but change is one of my top anxiety triggers – even if the change is good. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br>For instance, whenever I've started a new job – even when I'm so excited about the new adventure – I am a freaking anxious mess for at least a couple weeks. The same goes for when the seasons change. Your daily activities may change as the days grow warmer, so it's normal that you may have a bit of an adjustment period for that as well. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br></div><div style="text-align: left;">According to <a href="https://www.healthyplace.com/other-info/mental-health-newsletter/can-the-start-of-spring-impact-your-mental-health#:~:text=Changing%20light%3A%20Our%20circadian%20rhythms,change%20in%20our%20circadian%20rhythm">HealthyPlace.com</a>, "Our circadian rhythms change with the increased length and intensity of sunlight, affecting sleep-wake cycles, energy, and mood. Studies have shown that both suicide rates and manic episodes of bipolar disorder peak during the spring season due to change in our circadian rhythm."</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br>"While it can be refreshing to be able to spend more time outdoors and do different activities, it’s still a change our minds and bodies must adjust to."</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br>It's easy to assume that people's moods have improved because it's now spring, but we still need to check in our friends and family – those who are struggling with their mental health – in these warmer months too.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br></div><div style="text-align: left;">Bernie Fox, a semi-retired mental health counselor, shared on <a href="https://berniefox444.medium.com/april-showers-bring-more-than-may-flowers-suicides-grow-as-well-5eaa3d69883d">Medium.com</a> that his son Zac lost his life to suicide in the early spring more than a decade and a half ago. Even though Zac had a history of depression, Bernie said he had no concerns about him contemplating suicide. After all, it was almost Easter, and Zac was looking forward to enjoying time outdoors. The day Zac died seemed to be one of his "better days," so Bernie had no idea it would be the last day he would see his son alive. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br>"Here is an explicit advisory: The return of sunny days, the fresh air of spring, may negatively affect those having experienced depression during the dark months of winter. ... (I) encourage you to come alongside someone you know is suffering, despite, or perhaps because of, the arrival of spring. To do what you can, even in the smallest of ways, let them know that they are not alone," said Bernie. </div>Monica Drakehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08712645346613506234noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5985134748198355292.post-32133915413373854892023-03-15T13:43:00.007-07:002023-04-03T14:28:35.332-07:00As women, we need to do better at supporting each other <p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlc2b5hB_L3YJ0QKlMRaa-hWvuWVC0pAjKjlyPA8xnKf7XYN1TlMUkfvyxKSVdkwAxYfuwE1aqyL2SwCAynb9EQ-yJvMBGUbLmnPcwI7nIqCN6BuXdxbn3L4OYjBI0H_FG764bVlrc_60tWLclAdoVNboGNRDT1g_s5jqM_yu5FMVUa5fAo7p1f1NpFQ/s640/high-five-good-one.gif" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="318" data-original-width="640" height="366" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlc2b5hB_L3YJ0QKlMRaa-hWvuWVC0pAjKjlyPA8xnKf7XYN1TlMUkfvyxKSVdkwAxYfuwE1aqyL2SwCAynb9EQ-yJvMBGUbLmnPcwI7nIqCN6BuXdxbn3L4OYjBI0H_FG764bVlrc_60tWLclAdoVNboGNRDT1g_s5jqM_yu5FMVUa5fAo7p1f1NpFQ/w737-h366/high-five-good-one.gif" width="737"></a></div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEihEUlf-Hv2nUZk0sEOv5_Z3FgqjOgtuVvxPF--7FJrXC6wbqsSWUjgD56AqDn1aMdrD2e5ijfDEOF5zpCUCItD4vSuKYwF6pkWuRN00Dbr99s0CoUA5fEISibNoS_5rTRnWNRs7eZ2CeIz_z0bA7OsbUVVWJ7mitSBi1lXfovNH6S2kYIfXVv1J0OrtA" style="caret-color: rgb(33, 33, 33); clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="56" data-original-width="915" height="46" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEihEUlf-Hv2nUZk0sEOv5_Z3FgqjOgtuVvxPF--7FJrXC6wbqsSWUjgD56AqDn1aMdrD2e5ijfDEOF5zpCUCItD4vSuKYwF6pkWuRN00Dbr99s0CoUA5fEISibNoS_5rTRnWNRs7eZ2CeIz_z0bA7OsbUVVWJ7mitSBi1lXfovNH6S2kYIfXVv1J0OrtA=w737-h46" width="737"></a><br><div style="text-align: left;"><br></div><div style="text-align: left;">Did you know that women are more than twice as likely to be diagnosed with depression than men? </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br>It shouldn't be all that surprising. Just think of all the things our bodies go through — puberty, PMS, birth control, pregnancy, postpartum and menopause, to name a few. All of these things cause changes in our hormone levels, and this can alter the neurotransmitters that affect our mood. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br>But it's not just hormonal changes that make depression more likely in women. It's also the inequalities we still face. We still experience a pay gap and unequal power in the workplace, with women holding only 35% of senior leadership positions. Women are also more likely to experience sexual harassment and abuse than our male counterparts. In fact, 81% of women, compared to 43% of men, have experienced some type of sexual harassment in their lives.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br></div><div style="text-align: left;">Of course, on top of all this, we also experience more body image issues than men. According to the <a href="https://www.womenshealth.gov/mental-health/body-image-and-mental-health/body-image">U.S. Office on Women</a>, "This may be because many women in the United States feel pressured to measure up to strict and unrealistic social and cultural beauty ideals, which can lead to a negative body image. ... Young girls and teens are more likely to be praised for how they look than for their thoughts or actions."</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br>The craziest thing of all is that often, these pressures, judgements and ideals are coming from OTHER WOMEN! Umm...seriously? We know what it's like to struggle with everything mentioned above, so shouldn't we have each other's backs? Shouldn't we be able to rely on each other for support?</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br>But the sad truth is that this is often not the case. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br>I recently saw a photoshoot posted on social media of Millie Bobby Brown and Saddie Sink, the young actresses of "Stranger Things." When I looked at the comments, nearly all of them were comparing the two. "Millie is more beautiful," and "No, Saddie is." And most of these comments were from, you guessed it — women! </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br></div><div style="text-align: left;">I couldn't help but think, "What if either of them read these comments?!" And it made me sick. Why do we find the need to compare women, and why do we feel the need to pit two women against each other? And, even more so, why do we feel the need to constantly comment on the way women look? Not a single comment was about their talent, like, "Wow, these are two amazing actresses!"</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br>Can you imagine if there was an image of two of their co-stars, like Finn Wolfhard and Noah Schapp? Would many — or ANY — of the comments be about which one is better looking? I can almost guarantee that, if there were any comments like these, none would be from men degrading other men's looks. So why do women do it? </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br>I can't even tell you the number of times I've heard a woman find her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend on social media — and absolutely destroy the way she looks. They'll analyze everything about her and make fun of her. I get it, you're mad at the guy — but why do we project this anger onto another woman who did nothing wrong? Why do we degrade her and say things about her we would never want anyone to say about us?</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br>This is wrong, and it's a cycle that needs to stop. Women putting other women down. Women fighting other women over men. Women talking bad about other women behind their backs. Sometimes, we're seriously our own worst enemy. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br>Think of all that women could accomplish if we just had each other's backs, instead of competing with one another. Of course it's not a cure-all for depression, but I really do believe, if more women supported other women, our mental health would significantly benefit from it. </div>Monica Drakehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08712645346613506234noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5985134748198355292.post-41031516143078145832023-02-27T14:31:00.020-08:002023-02-27T15:11:13.355-08:00How emo music helped me realize I had a mental illness<div dir="auto" style="text-size-adjust: auto;"><div class="separator" style="caret-color: rgb(33, 33, 33); clear: both; color: #212121; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 16px; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8VuDRyk2n5h5lYfMspWmGaDIjb8tUflWm0oWDPY0-L3Vf1HxdMPVc0hsh2oAdLgqLngqKAay02kN57NNk1rzjkkfjPSQYX47LkTyvM9_5RW3KFUBsrRf8JGbWWgcgvl5hx-7ZgOkld_ibajMXEJXFs-FP6L5_yLvolqwWuojimouTHu5-7a1pRcFrNQ/s1200/Emo%20banner.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="630" data-original-width="1200" height="441" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8VuDRyk2n5h5lYfMspWmGaDIjb8tUflWm0oWDPY0-L3Vf1HxdMPVc0hsh2oAdLgqLngqKAay02kN57NNk1rzjkkfjPSQYX47LkTyvM9_5RW3KFUBsrRf8JGbWWgcgvl5hx-7ZgOkld_ibajMXEJXFs-FP6L5_yLvolqwWuojimouTHu5-7a1pRcFrNQ/w842-h441/Emo%20banner.jpg" width="842" /></a></div><div dir="auto" style="text-size-adjust: auto;"><div class="separator" style="caret-color: rgb(33, 33, 33); clear: both; color: black; font-family: Times; font-size: medium;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEihEUlf-Hv2nUZk0sEOv5_Z3FgqjOgtuVvxPF--7FJrXC6wbqsSWUjgD56AqDn1aMdrD2e5ijfDEOF5zpCUCItD4vSuKYwF6pkWuRN00Dbr99s0CoUA5fEISibNoS_5rTRnWNRs7eZ2CeIz_z0bA7OsbUVVWJ7mitSBi1lXfovNH6S2kYIfXVv1J0OrtA" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="56" data-original-width="915" height="52" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEihEUlf-Hv2nUZk0sEOv5_Z3FgqjOgtuVvxPF--7FJrXC6wbqsSWUjgD56AqDn1aMdrD2e5ijfDEOF5zpCUCItD4vSuKYwF6pkWuRN00Dbr99s0CoUA5fEISibNoS_5rTRnWNRs7eZ2CeIz_z0bA7OsbUVVWJ7mitSBi1lXfovNH6S2kYIfXVv1J0OrtA=w841-h52" width="841" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(33, 33, 33);">Over the weekend, I donned a band tee, ripped skinny jeans, and Vans to attend the <a href="https://emonightbk.com/">Emo Night Brooklyn show</a> in Detroit. </span><span style="caret-color: rgb(33, 33, 33);">And, at the event, someone said something that stuck with me —"Emos are the suicidal youth who survived. That's why I love us." </span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(33, 33, 33);"><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(33, 33, 33);">Emo, of course, is short for "emotional." So it's no wonder that many of us who were drawn to emo music as teens grew up to be diagnosed with a mental illness. No, I'm not saying emo music causes depression — but, according to a <a href="https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jamapediatrics/fullarticle/384518">study</a> by the Archives of Pediatrics and Adolescent Medicine, it is more likely for depressed teenagers to turn to music for support. </span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(33, 33, 33);"><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(33, 33, 33);">For me, I first discovered emo and pop-punk music in 2003, my sophomore year, when I noticed someone in my class wearing Dashboard Confessional and Lostprophets band tees. I had never heard of the bands but, for some reason, decided to impulsively buy their CDs with my allowance — just based on a random classmate's shirts. </span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(33, 33, 33);"><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(33, 33, 33);">Listening to their music, I was instantly hooked — a love which grew even more thanks to the release of the emo-filled "Spider-man 2" soundtrack in 2004. Even though my family didn't have cable, I would watch MTV whenever we would go on vacation — discovering songs like "Fat Lip" by Sum 41, "Helena" by My Chemical Romance, "Bring Me to Life" by Evanescence, "Ocean Avenue" by Yellowcard and "Sugar We're Goin' Down" by Fall Out Boy.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(33, 33, 33);"><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(33, 33, 33);">This was some of the first music I fell in love with on my own, not because my parents or my friends liked it, but because I was inspired by the lyrics — lyrics which I, of course, would doodle in my notebooks or use to caption my MySpace photos. At the time, I didn't really know that these songs were considered "emo." All I knew was that "emo" was a word that "popular" kids used to make fun of their sensitive, shy, eye-liner-wearing peers </span><span style="caret-color: rgb(33, 33, 33);">— a word which I definitely had been called when going through my own depression in high school. So, as a teenager, I thought "emo" was an insult. </span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(33, 33, 33);"><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(33, 33, 33);">According to an article in the <a href="https://www.dailydot.com/upstream/emo-mental-health-stigma/">Daily Dot</a>, "Much of the impetus behind emo hate mirrors the stigma associated with mental illness — a distinct and serious problem among teenagers. ... When emo is made a target of ridicule, kids who turn to the music while struggling against a mental illness are likewise pushed further from the care they require."</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(33, 33, 33);"><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(33, 33, 33);">Now, about 20 years later, thanks to the modern emo/pop-punk revival and the fight to destigmatize mental illness, more and more people are realizing that being emotional, struggling with depression, and relating to these sometimes sad and angry songs — it's nothing to be ashamed of.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(33, 33, 33);"><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(33, 33, 33);">And now, us teenage outcasts are in our 30s and 40s, and we're self-realized adults who still join together to appreciate the music and celebrate that we survived our collective mental illnesses. While we may not have been cool kids, I think we're pretty damn cool adults if I say so myself. </span></div></div></div></div>Monica Drakehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08712645346613506234noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5985134748198355292.post-60998646128827462122023-01-23T15:27:00.004-08:002023-01-23T15:53:51.989-08:00Author Josh Malerman writes a horror novel about anxiety<p> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTuFjKcpL7iG6-rAJ0rJ0EXXygPRmmJA37rcoFIDx24d_OZeDZT9JiMOYeQ8SWD2ptjonoFdrH8DH6lmUUie2NxuLaxRYyPMzkRf0trjq0b_bSQPVpjTwBp4WGk27qeT9U6j2xbkw2CsrwKe3kmr_yoqdvqaUPbepvVYWVkWR5uji5ONhID1YG5qiqRg/s3944/PXL_20230123_231511835.NIGHT.jpg" style="clear: left; display: inline !important; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2065" data-original-width="3944" height="428" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTuFjKcpL7iG6-rAJ0rJ0EXXygPRmmJA37rcoFIDx24d_OZeDZT9JiMOYeQ8SWD2ptjonoFdrH8DH6lmUUie2NxuLaxRYyPMzkRf0trjq0b_bSQPVpjTwBp4WGk27qeT9U6j2xbkw2CsrwKe3kmr_yoqdvqaUPbepvVYWVkWR5uji5ONhID1YG5qiqRg/w816-h428/PXL_20230123_231511835.NIGHT.jpg" width="816"></a></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEihEUlf-Hv2nUZk0sEOv5_Z3FgqjOgtuVvxPF--7FJrXC6wbqsSWUjgD56AqDn1aMdrD2e5ijfDEOF5zpCUCItD4vSuKYwF6pkWuRN00Dbr99s0CoUA5fEISibNoS_5rTRnWNRs7eZ2CeIz_z0bA7OsbUVVWJ7mitSBi1lXfovNH6S2kYIfXVv1J0OrtA" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="56" data-original-width="915" height="99" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEihEUlf-Hv2nUZk0sEOv5_Z3FgqjOgtuVvxPF--7FJrXC6wbqsSWUjgD56AqDn1aMdrD2e5ijfDEOF5zpCUCItD4vSuKYwF6pkWuRN00Dbr99s0CoUA5fEISibNoS_5rTRnWNRs7eZ2CeIz_z0bA7OsbUVVWJ7mitSBi1lXfovNH6S2kYIfXVv1J0OrtA=w1601-h99" width="1601"></a></div><div><p>Before I had a name for my anxiety disorder, I thought of it as a demon, possessing my brain. As a child, my anxiety – or the monster in the back of my head – would plague me with intrusive thoughts – like "You should shave off all your hair," "You should walk out into traffic," or "You should tell your parents you hate them" (which of course wasn't true). </p><p>I would obsessively think, “If this happens…then this will happen.” Like, while watching the news on a snowy morning, “If you don’t get a snow day today, your dad will get cancer.” Or in gym class, “If you don’t make this basket, you’ll go to hell when you die.” (And trust me, I hardly ever made the basket).</p><p>I never talk about this because I always thought it made me crazy. I thought it wasn’t normal. But, after reading author <a href="https://joshmalerman.com/" target="_blank">Josh Malerman</a>’s latest novel <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Daphne-Novel-Josh-Malerman/dp/059315701X" target="_blank">“Daphne,”</a> it gave me the strength to open up and to realize that I’m not alone. </p><p>I related a lot to Josh’s character Kit Lamb, a teenager who struggles with anxiety disorder, has a bottle of Xanax in her nightstand drawer, finds comfort in writing in her journal, and called 9-1-1 on herself the first time she experienced a panic attack. The comparison obviously stops when it comes to Kit’s basketball abilities – but, still, like her, I would also ask the rim questions, whether it was the basketball hoop in gym class or in our driveway. </p><p>The book starts with Kit asking the rim, “Will Daphne kill me?” right before she makes the game-winning shot. According to the myth – which the team first heard about the night before the game – Daphne was listening to music in her car and fell asleep before girls from the basketball team closed the garage door on her, and she died from carbon monoxide poisoning. Now, Daphne kills anyone who dares to think of her – specifically targeting members of the girl’s basketball team.</p><p>Josh uses his platform to raise awareness of mental health and anxiety disorder through Daphne – the ghost of this 7-foot-tall denim wearing mad woman who is quite literally manifested by anxiety and overthinking. Okay yeah, that’s terrifying – if there was a monster manifested by anxiety, I would definitely be among the first to die. But there was also something therapeutic and hopeful about this book as Josh flipped this idea on its head – making the most anxious person in the story also the most heroic and brave. </p><p>As Josh writes in his book, “I can’t stop thinking about Daphne any more than I can stop writing about anxiety. Know what? Watch me now. Let’s just go for it: ANXIETY. See? Doesn’t that feel good? Sure does. Because that’s me and I don’t know who I’d be without it. And guess what? I kinda like me. That’s right. I kinda like the person I am.” </p><p>Just like in Josh’s book, when people are told not to talk about Daphne – it’s kind of like growing up and being taught not to talk about mental illness and suicide. I used to think, if you talk about it, people are more likely to die from it. But the opposite is true. When we talk about it, people are more likely to get help. When we talk about it, people are less likely to feel alone. And, most importantly, when we talk about it, we stop thinking that something is wrong with us because of our mental illness. Instead, we start to accept – and even appreciate – that part of ourselves. </p><p>As Josh writes, “May you, reader, never keep quiet about the things that need talking about. ... And if you, reader, suffer any degree of anxiety, please know, you are absolutely not alone." </p><p>Thank you to Josh for writing this book that has helped me and so many others with anxiety disorder feel less alone!</p></div>Monica Drakehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08712645346613506234noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5985134748198355292.post-46817197200486869322023-01-05T15:17:00.006-08:002023-01-05T15:20:13.277-08:00Do you need more sleep if you have a mental health condition? <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhrGdUmGYgkcSPmpu1eYjXSFdwTEP-VQswSQI7KXq9tJd0BIHL47Ed5hza-q7fOaurgTcShEeiHjg46iF0zC8CRT0c_Q44U90oWzAEu6Zz_zcqQYI--RDSZY30L4gYImyixD9-1KUfkclHK3On3TgxXczc7X30SAL08W5oEtJKlFUVIbT3MpHots7I_pg/s7360/GettyImages-896553420%20(1).jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="4912" data-original-width="7360" height="496" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhrGdUmGYgkcSPmpu1eYjXSFdwTEP-VQswSQI7KXq9tJd0BIHL47Ed5hza-q7fOaurgTcShEeiHjg46iF0zC8CRT0c_Q44U90oWzAEu6Zz_zcqQYI--RDSZY30L4gYImyixD9-1KUfkclHK3On3TgxXczc7X30SAL08W5oEtJKlFUVIbT3MpHots7I_pg/w742-h496/GettyImages-896553420%20(1).jpg" width="742" /></a></div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEihEUlf-Hv2nUZk0sEOv5_Z3FgqjOgtuVvxPF--7FJrXC6wbqsSWUjgD56AqDn1aMdrD2e5ijfDEOF5zpCUCItD4vSuKYwF6pkWuRN00Dbr99s0CoUA5fEISibNoS_5rTRnWNRs7eZ2CeIz_z0bA7OsbUVVWJ7mitSBi1lXfovNH6S2kYIfXVv1J0OrtA" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="56" data-original-width="915" height="99" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEihEUlf-Hv2nUZk0sEOv5_Z3FgqjOgtuVvxPF--7FJrXC6wbqsSWUjgD56AqDn1aMdrD2e5ijfDEOF5zpCUCItD4vSuKYwF6pkWuRN00Dbr99s0CoUA5fEISibNoS_5rTRnWNRs7eZ2CeIz_z0bA7OsbUVVWJ7mitSBi1lXfovNH6S2kYIfXVv1J0OrtA=w1601-h99" width="1601" /></a><div style="text-align: left;">It would be awesome to be able to teleport — it would save me a lot on gas, and I could travel the world in the blink of the eye. But when I think about what superpower I would want most, my first thought is something more boring. It's a "superpower" that a lot of people already have — the ability to function on little sleep.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">After the holidays, it’s been hard for me to get my sleep schedule back on track. Last night, I got five hours of sleep — staying up until 1 a.m. and waking up a little after 6 a.m. with my body wide awake (my brain was a different story). For some of you, that's probably just a normal day. But, for me, even after two big ol' cups of coffee, I felt physically and mentally drained. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />My fiancé can function on little sleep. A lot of people I know can function on little sleep. But me — I am not one of them, even though I wish I was. Just think of all the things I could accomplish if I could survive on four to five hours, instead of my required eight hours of sleep a night. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />And, it made me think – does someone with a mental health condition, like my anxiety disorder, need more sleep than someone without it? </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />According to a 2019 study in the journal <a href="https://www.nature.com/articles/s41562-019-0754-8" target="_blank">Nature Human Behaviour,</a> sleep loss is linked to impaired medial prefrontal cortex activity. The study shows that the deep phase of sleep is a natural anxiety reliever while a sleepless night is shown to raise anxiety levels by 30%. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />For those of us who already have an abnormal prefrontal cortex thanks to a mental illness, it’s no wonder that a lack of sleep affects us even more than our neurotypical friends. Even moderate reductions in sleep from night-to-night can result in significant day-to-day increases in anxiety. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />According to an article on <a href="https://www.anxiety.org/sleep-a-fundamental-cure-for-anxiety">Anxiety.org</a>, one of the first pieces of advice a therapist should give to a client suffering from anxiety or depression is this: “Go home and commit to getting eight hours of sleep every night this week." </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />The article states, “The amount of sleep a person gets influences symptoms stemming from mental disorders. For example, disrupted sleep can trigger agitation and hyperactivity in people with manic depression. Even in otherwise healthy people, extreme sleep deprivation can lead to what seems to be a psychotic state of paranoia and hallucinations.”</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />There are many health benefits that come from committing to seven to nine hours of sleep each night. I’ve already talked about how it can reduce stress. Sleep also helps boost your immune system, strengthen your heart, prevent weight gain, improve memory, and increase productivity. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />So, what have we learned today? I've learned that, instead of wishing I could have the sleeping habits of a vampire in “Twilight,” I need to view sleep as a form of self-care. It’s not a waste of time; in fact, sleep helps keep you alive. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />If you have trouble sleeping, talk to your doctor. Check out <a href="https://www.nhlbi.nih.gov/files/docs/public/sleep/healthysleepfs.pdf">this guide</a> to healthy sleep from the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. </div>Monica Drakehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08712645346613506234noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5985134748198355292.post-87197059910116329172022-12-19T16:30:00.003-08:002022-12-20T06:23:15.216-08:00If you are struggling with suicidal thoughts, please don't stay silent<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLOo-dbXKr7WTTvGzCunrlbX8Vy_HtdcveGS4ty2rymMvvhszWyTncK9hp0uN5kG7A0Tgfr8DEnWWwwABBoaZKQncPxczDz8jW3rNEgm0vV3DbdjfUDfR6mmfsXvSypqJArnCorAATCGKwzmVno3PeAnHwVGdl904Xy-PXzonxIWG_DcV41a0jdh85zA/s2165/twitch.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1272" data-original-width="2165" height="579" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLOo-dbXKr7WTTvGzCunrlbX8Vy_HtdcveGS4ty2rymMvvhszWyTncK9hp0uN5kG7A0Tgfr8DEnWWwwABBoaZKQncPxczDz8jW3rNEgm0vV3DbdjfUDfR6mmfsXvSypqJArnCorAATCGKwzmVno3PeAnHwVGdl904Xy-PXzonxIWG_DcV41a0jdh85zA/w986-h579/twitch.jpg" width="986" /></a></div><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEihEUlf-Hv2nUZk0sEOv5_Z3FgqjOgtuVvxPF--7FJrXC6wbqsSWUjgD56AqDn1aMdrD2e5ijfDEOF5zpCUCItD4vSuKYwF6pkWuRN00Dbr99s0CoUA5fEISibNoS_5rTRnWNRs7eZ2CeIz_z0bA7OsbUVVWJ7mitSBi1lXfovNH6S2kYIfXVv1J0OrtA" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="56" data-original-width="915" height="99" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEihEUlf-Hv2nUZk0sEOv5_Z3FgqjOgtuVvxPF--7FJrXC6wbqsSWUjgD56AqDn1aMdrD2e5ijfDEOF5zpCUCItD4vSuKYwF6pkWuRN00Dbr99s0CoUA5fEISibNoS_5rTRnWNRs7eZ2CeIz_z0bA7OsbUVVWJ7mitSBi1lXfovNH6S2kYIfXVv1J0OrtA=w1601-h99" width="1601" /></a></div><div style="text-align: left;">When someone loses their life to suicide, it's easy to blame them, and it's easy to blame ourselves. How could they do that? How could they leave us? And how could we not have known they were struggling?</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />No matter how far we've come in raising awareness about mental illness, there is definitely still a stigma around it — especially when it comes to suicide. There's a stigma that talking about it makes a person more likely to do it, and there's a stigma that people considering suicide are weak or selfish. Neither of these are true. The real truth is that what perpetuates suicide most is the stigma itself. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />"The unfortunate impact of stigma around suicide is people not seeking help when they need it. ... (They) internalize their feelings of shame because of this perception of how their peers and society view them. If a person has experienced stigma in the past, they may be reluctant to reach out for help again," an article by the Australian Government Department of Health's <a href="https://www.suicidecallbackservice.org.au/worried-about-someone/stigma-around-suicide/">Suicide Call Back Service</a> states. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Last week, thousands of people's hearts collectively broke with the news of Stephen "tWitch" Boss' death. His wife Allison Holker described tWitch as a man who lit up every room he walked into, was the backbone of their family, and was the best husband and father. So, everyone was shocked when they found out his cause of death was suicide. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /><a href="https://twitter.com/jtimberlake/status/1603124478044577793">Justin Timberlake</a> tweeted, "It’s heartbreaking to hear that someone who brought so much joy to a room, was hurting so much behind closed doors. ... You just never know what someone is really going through. Take care of yourselves. LOVE that human in the mirror. Check on your people."</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />The former “So You Think You Can Dance” contestant and “Ellen DeGeneres Show” DJ didn't talk about his struggles. His grandfather Eddy said tWitch seemed just as happy-go-lucky as ever and showed no signs of mental health struggles or indication that anything was out of the ordinary.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />Seeking professional help for a mental illness needs to be just as commonplace as getting treatment for any other physical disease. But according to <a href="https://mhanational.org/issues/state-mental-health-america#:~:text=11.5%25%20of%20youth%20(over%202.7,illness%20did%20not%20receive%20care.">Mental Health America</a>, more than half (54.7%) of adults with a mental illness do not receive treatment. And research shows that the stigma is even higher in the Black community.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />According to <a href="https://www.mcleanhospital.org/essential/lets-face-it-no-one-wants-talk-about-mental-health">McLean Hospital</a>, "Black men, especially, receive the message to be strong and to deal with problems on their own. This masking of issues can lead to greater symptoms of anxiety and depression."</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />By talking about and memorializing tWitch, I'm hopeful that more and more people will realize that suicide can happen to anyone, and it's something we should all talk about before it's too late. We need to put a stop to the stigma that mental illness and suicidal ideations are weaknesses — because they're not. It's a disease, and it's no one's fault. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />In response to tWitch's death, clinical psychologist Dr. Rheeda Walker told <a href="https://people.com/health/stephen-twitch-boss-sparked-discussion-mental-health-suicide-black-community/">People Magazine</a>, "If individuals felt that they could get the help they needed and without judgment, I do feel that more people would get help. ... I believe that we have the tools to navigate our social circumstances, but we first have to recognize that there is indeed a crisis brewing just below the surface."</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />So I encourage you to talk about mental illness and suicide. Stop treating it like a taboo subject because it shouldn't be. Make it as common as telling a friend, "Oh my back hurts today!" or "Ugh I have a splitting headache!" You don't have to silently suffer. And the more you talk about it, the more others will feel comfortable talking about it too.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />If you are struggling with your mental health, help is available. Talk to your primary care physician, who can treat mental health conditions or refer you to a psychiatrist or therapist for additional help. If you or someone you know is considering suicide, call the 24/7 National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988. </div>Monica Drakehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08712645346613506234noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5985134748198355292.post-31378261900971963952022-11-29T09:15:00.011-08:002022-11-29T12:00:17.254-08:00What to do if you’re worried about yours or a loved ones’ substance use<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhsHhRkAxcXlMfA0ZdRULNPjFQKgDTWokRlIxJIJSCU3Ir7-BuUI1UMMxDeLjxUgTCHvOaw-NkpbiijIEhGOaADlieyROltGwBmkSaRGgFJITf7ut7Ef9Qhy5Ic6G89BepJozLRvftI1ZcHBb1_lAB0f2HVYxsqHuJl5YiMGxQWWHGxowjM8kCnSJJWIQ/s2114/Start-Your-Recovery.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1233" data-original-width="2114" height="604" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhsHhRkAxcXlMfA0ZdRULNPjFQKgDTWokRlIxJIJSCU3Ir7-BuUI1UMMxDeLjxUgTCHvOaw-NkpbiijIEhGOaADlieyROltGwBmkSaRGgFJITf7ut7Ef9Qhy5Ic6G89BepJozLRvftI1ZcHBb1_lAB0f2HVYxsqHuJl5YiMGxQWWHGxowjM8kCnSJJWIQ/w1034-h604/Start-Your-Recovery.jpg" width="1034" /></a></div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEihEUlf-Hv2nUZk0sEOv5_Z3FgqjOgtuVvxPF--7FJrXC6wbqsSWUjgD56AqDn1aMdrD2e5ijfDEOF5zpCUCItD4vSuKYwF6pkWuRN00Dbr99s0CoUA5fEISibNoS_5rTRnWNRs7eZ2CeIz_z0bA7OsbUVVWJ7mitSBi1lXfovNH6S2kYIfXVv1J0OrtA" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="56" data-original-width="915" height="99" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEihEUlf-Hv2nUZk0sEOv5_Z3FgqjOgtuVvxPF--7FJrXC6wbqsSWUjgD56AqDn1aMdrD2e5ijfDEOF5zpCUCItD4vSuKYwF6pkWuRN00Dbr99s0CoUA5fEISibNoS_5rTRnWNRs7eZ2CeIz_z0bA7OsbUVVWJ7mitSBi1lXfovNH6S2kYIfXVv1J0OrtA=w1601-h99" width="1601" /></a><div style="text-align: left;">I never met my grandpa on my dad’s side – he died long before I was even an idea and when several of his 14 children were still just kids. But I do know that he struggled with alcoholism, and so I’ve been taught from a young age to be careful and to be on the lookout for symptoms of substance abuse because it does run in the family. </div><div><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">In fact, at least half of a person's susceptibility to drug or alcohol addiction can be linked to genetic factors, according to the <a href="https://www.apa.org/monitor/2008/06/genes-addict">American Psychological Association</a>. Other risk factors include untreated or unmanaged mental illness, early use of substances, peer pressure, lack of family involvement, and taking a highly addictive drug. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Substance use disorder affects more than 20 million Americans, according to <a href="https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/news/articles/new-research-and-insights-into-substance-use-disorder" target="_blank">John Hopkins Medicine</a>. You are not alone. Addiction is a disease, and it’s not your fault – but the way you respond to it is your responsibility and it definitely doesn't excuse the way you treat others. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /><div style="text-align: left;">I have heard stories all my life about how addiction can affect someone. It can change your personality, impact your ability to make rational decisions, increase your anger and selfishness, and slowly destroy your vital systems and functions. It affects not only you, but everyone around you – your significant other, your children, your friends and your co-workers. For me, if my grandfather sought help for his substance use disorder, maybe I would have had the chance to meet him and a lot of the mistakes he made in his life could have been avoided.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">So, please, before it's too late, seek help! If you’re worried about yourself or a loved one and you don’t know what to do, a good first step is to visit the website <a href="http://StartYourRecovery.org">StartYourRecovery.org</a>. There, all in one place, you can find personalized information based on who you are – whether you’re a teen, a parent, a senior, a veteran, a member of the LGBTQ+ community, etc. – and the substance you are struggling with. You can learn about risk factors and treatment options, hear from others who have dealt with similar struggles, and find support near you. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /><span style="text-align: left;">The team at the public health communications firm </span><a href="https://www.reingold.com/" style="text-align: left;">Reingold</a><span style="text-align: left;"> developed </span><a href="http://StartYourRecovery.org" style="text-align: left;">StartYourRecovery.org</a><span style="text-align: left;"> because they realized, when it came to substance use disorder, the resources out there were severely lacking. So, in 2016, they decided to create a one-stop-shop for individuals to have easy access to treatment options as soon as they’re ready to find help. Today, the website connects more than 800,000 people a year to substance use disorder treatment. </span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div></div><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgh9hIVwgpYpfNYSBF3FtH_DmUm9Ay8WJ_c5UcRn5BetVLk1BARP-gSZRUkr6-b5DUcv-3tmmKP77qkTt6NcOo3zG_wGZM94WN4NOThI9K5lcnRircLaQ1sBBtGXGa6PWTS9VYgs0gZ9IH_7G8JmyuG2k4z1vKe-JIz2RZN_Oe1bIc6xTxt1YeO0tCHtw/s327/Brooks-Lape-Office.png" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="327" data-original-width="327" height="220" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgh9hIVwgpYpfNYSBF3FtH_DmUm9Ay8WJ_c5UcRn5BetVLk1BARP-gSZRUkr6-b5DUcv-3tmmKP77qkTt6NcOo3zG_wGZM94WN4NOThI9K5lcnRircLaQ1sBBtGXGa6PWTS9VYgs0gZ9IH_7G8JmyuG2k4z1vKe-JIz2RZN_Oe1bIc6xTxt1YeO0tCHtw/w220-h220/Brooks-Lape-Office.png" width="220" /></a></div>Brooks Lape, co-founder of <a href="http://StartYourRecovery.org">StartYourRecovery.org</a> and senior director of digital marketing at Reingold, said, as someone who is in recovery himself, this has really been a passion project for him. He’s helped make sure the website includes everything he would have wanted – such as non-stigmatizing language and information about multiple pathways to recovery. <p></p><div style="text-align: left;">“Recovery is less about abstaining from use and more about what’s preventing you from living the life that you want,” he said. “We’re working to raise the bar for the entire industry, and we’re working hand-in-hand with thought leaders across a number of different leading organizations to make sure we get this right.” </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /><a href="https://startyourrecovery.org/treatment">Click here</a> to find rehab centers, counseling, and support groups available near you. </div>Monica Drakehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08712645346613506234noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5985134748198355292.post-82896719151169778052022-10-25T13:37:00.006-07:002022-11-29T09:27:43.582-08:00If Halloween is your favorite holiday, does that make you mentally unstable?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKgAQ7OWJLmJ2KnjjVftYAvEK7YI32fBQX_Q8c_EBOvABBe0oricaY9byT7-Ltvg9oYzlFAIt8qsNIHa3W1B57ZHek6AWn6tLKJQKrkRhqJu6bqakzYzI1MBIuCBobARnmsWB5bCWdmXNtqWpYiBzIZF7WdQ5J11orzQwRNfLA6oSNf_-EG8fDiVZWNQ/s5817/6109C2DF-A629-484E-B9C3-7CDA5DF6B2AD%5B1%5D.jpeg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="3656" data-original-width="5817" height="800" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKgAQ7OWJLmJ2KnjjVftYAvEK7YI32fBQX_Q8c_EBOvABBe0oricaY9byT7-Ltvg9oYzlFAIt8qsNIHa3W1B57ZHek6AWn6tLKJQKrkRhqJu6bqakzYzI1MBIuCBobARnmsWB5bCWdmXNtqWpYiBzIZF7WdQ5J11orzQwRNfLA6oSNf_-EG8fDiVZWNQ/w1276-h800/6109C2DF-A629-484E-B9C3-7CDA5DF6B2AD%5B1%5D.jpeg" width="1276" /></a></div><p><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEihEUlf-Hv2nUZk0sEOv5_Z3FgqjOgtuVvxPF--7FJrXC6wbqsSWUjgD56AqDn1aMdrD2e5ijfDEOF5zpCUCItD4vSuKYwF6pkWuRN00Dbr99s0CoUA5fEISibNoS_5rTRnWNRs7eZ2CeIz_z0bA7OsbUVVWJ7mitSBi1lXfovNH6S2kYIfXVv1J0OrtA" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="56" data-original-width="915" height="84" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEihEUlf-Hv2nUZk0sEOv5_Z3FgqjOgtuVvxPF--7FJrXC6wbqsSWUjgD56AqDn1aMdrD2e5ijfDEOF5zpCUCItD4vSuKYwF6pkWuRN00Dbr99s0CoUA5fEISibNoS_5rTRnWNRs7eZ2CeIz_z0bA7OsbUVVWJ7mitSBi1lXfovNH6S2kYIfXVv1J0OrtA=w1353-h84" width="1353" /></a></p><div style="text-align: left;">I’ve recently seen several Instagram reels of people who joke that you’re mentally unstable if your favorite holiday is Halloween (see below for an example). While this may be a broad generalization, I can attest, for me personally, that yes – this is very much correct!</div><p></p><blockquote class="instagram-media" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/reel/CjVygf4gQDP/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="14" style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-radius: 3px; border: 0px; box-shadow: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.5) 0px 0px 1px 0px, rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.15) 0px 1px 10px 0px; margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0px; width: calc(100% - 2px);"><div style="padding: 16px;"> <a href="https://www.instagram.com/reel/CjVygf4gQDP/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); line-height: 0; padding: 0px; text-align: center; text-decoration: none; width: 100%;" target="_blank"> <div style="align-items: center; display: flex; flex-direction: row;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"></div> <div style="display: flex; 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font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div></div><div style="padding: 12.5% 0px;"></div> <div style="align-items: center; display: flex; flex-direction: row; margin-bottom: 14px;"><div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; transform: translateX(0px) translateY(7px); width: 12.5px;"></div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; flex-grow: 0; height: 12.5px; margin-left: 2px; margin-right: 14px; transform: rotate(-45deg) translateX(3px) translateY(1px); width: 12.5px;"></div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; transform: translateX(9px) translateY(-18px); width: 12.5px;"></div></div><div style="margin-left: 8px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 20px; width: 20px;"></div> <div style="border-bottom: 2px solid transparent; border-left: 6px solid rgb(244, 244, 244); border-top: 2px solid transparent; height: 0px; transform: translateX(16px) translateY(-4px) rotate(30deg); width: 0px;"></div></div><div style="margin-left: auto;"> <div style="border-right: 8px solid transparent; border-top: 8px solid rgb(244, 244, 244); transform: translateY(16px); width: 0px;"></div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; flex-grow: 0; height: 12px; transform: translateY(-4px); width: 16px;"></div> <div style="border-left: 8px solid transparent; border-top: 8px solid rgb(244, 244, 244); height: 0px; transform: translateY(-4px) translateX(8px); width: 0px;"></div></div></div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 224px;"></div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 144px;"></div></div></a><p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0px 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a href="https://www.instagram.com/reel/CjVygf4gQDP/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">A post shared by Alli Bellairs (@alli_bellairs)</a></p></div></blockquote> <script async="" src="//www.instagram.com/embed.js"></script><p></p><div style="text-align: left;">So, if you’re mentally unstable, is Halloween really more likely to be your favorite holiday? I’m not sure, but I do know that most of my friends who I’ve bonded with over our kindred mental illnesses have also bonded with me about our mutual love of Halloween.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />For me, Halloween is my favorite holiday because it’s the one holiday when you don’t have to think about others. You don’t have to get anybody gifts or prepare an elaborate turkey dinner or squeeze in all the family get togethers. Instead, Halloween time is just about dressing up as someone else for the day, pigging out on sweets, drinking cider, and watching spooky movies. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />Maybe that sounds selfish. But, as an anxious person, I think about others all the time, sometimes to a fault. My anxiety disorder has helped me be a very empathic person. But it’s also made me always terrified, for no reason, that people are mad at me, and it’s made me really bad at saying “No,” even when it harms my own mental health.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />So, yeah, Christmas is a stressful time of year for me. Stressing out about getting the perfect gift for everyone. Stressing out about who I should get a gift for – if I bought a gift for everyone who bought me a gift or not. Stressing out if I forgot anyone or I’m going to make anyone mad – even more than usual. Stressing out about money. Stressing out about fitting everything in that I need to do. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />But, during Halloween, I don’t have to worry about any of that. I only have to think about doing what I want to do (and, since Christmas is my fiancé’s favorite holiday, I get full reign over what we do on my favorite holiday – it’s only fair).</div><p style="text-align: left;"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><p></p><p><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-AU3ErnRBUHxaRdMKUYf6sM8yd3Zx9ozYC4XebRCybCVLUcC-Mk2XB5LHYOV-PK7mfQ6aDAh5X1PTyF0FCPtMukreuIHUuwxtLrgnBjkdKQE4d0cZZ9dzShdfiYUXYWVqAwoEAJgGyZknrNlGZFM5znOFPZ7RocGsoeJ9jUr6PZWx8KeYtkHgfRPAZw/s761/0b151db1-835e-42df-8731-29aba436d4f3.gif" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em; text-align: left;"><img border="0" data-original-height="761" data-original-width="412" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-AU3ErnRBUHxaRdMKUYf6sM8yd3Zx9ozYC4XebRCybCVLUcC-Mk2XB5LHYOV-PK7mfQ6aDAh5X1PTyF0FCPtMukreuIHUuwxtLrgnBjkdKQE4d0cZZ9dzShdfiYUXYWVqAwoEAJgGyZknrNlGZFM5znOFPZ7RocGsoeJ9jUr6PZWx8KeYtkHgfRPAZw/s320/0b151db1-835e-42df-8731-29aba436d4f3.gif" width="173" /></a></p><div style="text-align: left;">In October, I can dress up in a ridiculous outfit – like a tutu and a clown wig and too much eyeliner – and no one will judge me. And as someone with anxiety, it’s comforting to have a holiday where you’re celebrated for being weird.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />Also, this time of year, instead of cheesy romantic holiday movies (no shade to these flicks though), I can watch movies that make me feel amazing about my life and my problems by comparison (although, who am I kidding – I watch these movies all year round). While I may have panic attacks on the regular, with horror movies, it’s nice to put in prospective that at least I’m not being chased by Michael Myers or Jason Voorhees. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />Arash Javanbakht and Linda Saab, assistant professors of psychiatry at Wayne State University, gave another reason why people like me hold a particular fondness to the holiday. It’s because Halloween allows us to engage with dangerous things in a safe space and redirect our fear into excitement.</div><p></p><p></p></div><p style="text-align: left;"></p><div style="text-align: left;">“Our studies and clinical interactions suggest that a major factor in how we experience fear has to do with the context. When our ‘thinking’ brain gives feedback to our ‘emotional’ brain and we perceive ourselves as being in a safe space, we can then quickly shift the way we experience that high arousal state, going from one of fear to one of enjoyment or excitement,” they write in the online magazine <a href="https://www.inverse.com/article/37938-science-of-fear-halloween-horror-human-psychology">Inverse</a>.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />“Fear (also) creates distraction, which can be a positive experience. When something scary happens, in that moment, we are on high alert and not preoccupied with other things that might be on our mind, which brings us to the here and now.”</div>Monica Drakehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08712645346613506234noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5985134748198355292.post-55505537187684922742022-10-13T06:54:00.021-07:002022-10-14T10:06:02.553-07:00Oakland County Suicide Prevention Task Force creates safe space to spread awareness<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYPIEHyIqI7theCGNjk6m0pqsyhdzlLRdvFuo-1bi-hrmZ6ly3Mn82DikL5mbEMww4-Ndw89MEAQcWF0edBlApDOhFdHJEGvjXHln0X1NDKKzXixIuLMCWrB2ICEa90sPM8o66Z-a-aIzCVKXry5OXSUiCj88USaMASSNkNkaQG_bi7CZKOEiK_Na52g/s857/87881.jpeg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="462" data-original-width="857" height="440" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYPIEHyIqI7theCGNjk6m0pqsyhdzlLRdvFuo-1bi-hrmZ6ly3Mn82DikL5mbEMww4-Ndw89MEAQcWF0edBlApDOhFdHJEGvjXHln0X1NDKKzXixIuLMCWrB2ICEa90sPM8o66Z-a-aIzCVKXry5OXSUiCj88USaMASSNkNkaQG_bi7CZKOEiK_Na52g/w814-h440/87881.jpeg" width="814" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEio51Cx87D4o453jYrQRd5mbMzEHLrorFgmQnVumDrxAcoh-CAfyAOSl68vXTmofDrLNNzgdcBeV7GQg5ZYNkaUSO5b0Ysp8C-PB3VKG-wvpuDPYG0Bko4HcSaw621RXThfXoC1YSyNuo0plUYxBE5KrtZk5mYiO_lw_Fk2gA36MqDJQEdPFy9RGPlk9w=s2342" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="137" data-original-width="2342" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEio51Cx87D4o453jYrQRd5mbMzEHLrorFgmQnVumDrxAcoh-CAfyAOSl68vXTmofDrLNNzgdcBeV7GQg5ZYNkaUSO5b0Ysp8C-PB3VKG-wvpuDPYG0Bko4HcSaw621RXThfXoC1YSyNuo0plUYxBE5KrtZk5mYiO_lw_Fk2gA36MqDJQEdPFy9RGPlk9w=s16000" /></a></div></div><p></p><p>In its first in-person event since the onset of COVID, the Oakland County Suicide Prevention Task Force held a suicide prevention community discussion on Wednesday, Sept. 28. Around 100 people attended virtually or in person at Oakland Community Health Network in Troy.</p><p>The Task Force’s primary goal was to get the community together again to stress the importance of everyone’s role in helping to prevent suicide. The theme was Your Role in Suicide Prevention: A Call to Action — in other words how each community member can assist with suicide prevention.</p><p>The event was a safe space to share stories and spread awareness of how people can help those around them who are experiencing thoughts of suicide. Featured were experts, individuals who struggle with their mental health, and individuals with family members who struggle with their mental health. </p><h3 style="text-align: left;">Highlights of the Day</h3><div><img border="0" data-original-height="854" data-original-width="1280" height="540" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihLl3mBxpGp_Fe8cs5NO9rNSd8YG06OXH3DtimxLzM2LT-f6HLmxkR5NWesGOFc68CJzEkzZFpX9UWIDfrQ6EWSd7r3yt6g7MrrRkbTwDNKJTicJp6HVAcBKcb0tkytTUktoqz66b0BTl8k-e93yjps5w0AgSSproB65rqlucG6vj-ZrrbD-p7JRLG7w/w807-h540/87878%20(1).jpeg" style="color: #0000ee; text-align: center;" width="807" /></div><div><br /></div><div><div>Oakland County Executive David Coulter welcomed attendees. The keynote speaker was Riley Juntti, national coordinator for 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. She is a public speaker on suicide prevention at an international level and the face of <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zfSHxWq_Mi0">Tell Them</a>, a Netflix campaign encouraging individuals to speak out about their personal struggles with mental illness and thoughts of suicide.</div><div><br /></div><div>Juntti survived her <a href="https://www.freep.com/story/news/local/michigan/2019/10/09/teen-suicide-prevention-riley-juntti-13-reasons-why-netflix/3844718002/">first suicide attempt</a> at just 13 years old. Later in life, she was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. She was good at hiding her pain and originally kept her thoughts of suicide to herself. In time, she discovered the power of talking about her trauma.</div><div><br /></div><div>Talking to someone about suicide can ignite the healing process. Therapists, support groups, and the <a href="https://988lifeline.org/">988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline</a> are all listening ears ready to assist in your journey of improving your mental health.</div><div><br /></div><div>Following Juntti’s speech, Mayim Meyers from Jewish Family Service of Metro Detroit provided a mindfulness activity for the group. There was also a testimonial from Tasha Henson who used the skills she learned as a safeTALK workshop participant to help a client and their family. <a href="https://www.livingworks.net/safetalk">SafeTALK</a> is an online training course that teaches participants to recognize the signs that a person is thinking about suicide and to take the appropriate steps in connecting that person with support from trained community resources.</div><div><br /></div><div>The event’s panel discussion featured Samuel Milner, a Case Manager at Easterseals of Michigan; Kristen Smith, the PRiSMM (Preventing Suicide in Michigan Men) Program Coordinator; Regina Murray, an Army veteran; and Sarah Charow, an individual with a child who survived attempted suicide. The day ended with an option to participate in Suicide Prevention 101 training presented by the <a href="https://www.oakgov.com/health/Pages/default.aspx">Oakland County Health Division</a>.</div></div><div><br /></div><div><h3 style="text-align: left;">Upcoming Suicide Prevention Discussion </h3><div>The Oakland County Suicide Prevention Task Force will be holding a suicide prevention training opportunity on Saturday, Oct.15 from 9 a.m. to 12:30 p.m. at Calvary Lutheran Church in Clarkston. The event will cover safeTALK training and prepare participants ages 15 and older to become trained helpers when they notice someone struggling with thoughts of suicide.</div><div><br /></div><div>Oakland County community members are invited including parents, grandparents, high school and college students, teachers, police officers, fire fighters, medical providers, and more. Those interested in attending can email Kat Polmear at <a href="mailto:polmeark@oakgov.com">polmeark@oakgov.com</a>.</div></div>Monica Drakehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08712645346613506234noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5985134748198355292.post-70564527040145442222022-09-06T16:43:00.022-07:002022-09-07T11:00:15.916-07:00When you make a huge mistake, that doesn't mean you deserve to die<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXCommFRmdbpig_zaCxYQ7Hkq6KDjYjRL05_4OvVwjjlNgz4pv3Rzy26NAValqhsYMBHfKV35HtlUljbasTQI7tTyusmBs-0QHxd08m3plkX8CTJJpsr0sh2VJsCP6u63Pz2KYXptlxNLFD1kh2tbaQW3AS7tJYIY-fq0h_YyCbXLztwISKRicr4ytVA/s1914/Screenshot%20(1).jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1296" data-original-width="1914" height="722" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXCommFRmdbpig_zaCxYQ7Hkq6KDjYjRL05_4OvVwjjlNgz4pv3Rzy26NAValqhsYMBHfKV35HtlUljbasTQI7tTyusmBs-0QHxd08m3plkX8CTJJpsr0sh2VJsCP6u63Pz2KYXptlxNLFD1kh2tbaQW3AS7tJYIY-fq0h_YyCbXLztwISKRicr4ytVA/w1066-h722/Screenshot%20(1).jpg" width="1066" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEihEUlf-Hv2nUZk0sEOv5_Z3FgqjOgtuVvxPF--7FJrXC6wbqsSWUjgD56AqDn1aMdrD2e5ijfDEOF5zpCUCItD4vSuKYwF6pkWuRN00Dbr99s0CoUA5fEISibNoS_5rTRnWNRs7eZ2CeIz_z0bA7OsbUVVWJ7mitSBi1lXfovNH6S2kYIfXVv1J0OrtA" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><img alt="" data-original-height="56" data-original-width="915" height="84" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEihEUlf-Hv2nUZk0sEOv5_Z3FgqjOgtuVvxPF--7FJrXC6wbqsSWUjgD56AqDn1aMdrD2e5ijfDEOF5zpCUCItD4vSuKYwF6pkWuRN00Dbr99s0CoUA5fEISibNoS_5rTRnWNRs7eZ2CeIz_z0bA7OsbUVVWJ7mitSBi1lXfovNH6S2kYIfXVv1J0OrtA=w1353-h84" width="1353" /></a></div><br /><br /></div>When someone is considering suicide, we tell them, "It will get better." We tell them how great they are, how much potential they have, and how much the world would miss them. But, the thing we don't really talk about is — what do we tell people who made a really big mistake in their lives? When they are considering suicide, how can we help? <p></p><div style="text-align: left;">We don't talk about the person who posted something stupid to social media — and now they're officially "canceled" by society. We don't talk about the person who cheated on their spouse — and now their entire family is leaving them. We never talk about the person who decided to get behind the wheel drunk — and then got in a car accident. And we never talk about the person who did something illegal at work — and the whole world finds out and they're blacklisted from their career.<br /> </div><div style="text-align: left;">We've all made mistakes in our lives. Some obviously worse than others. But, when people do things that are, well, really bad, does that mean they deserve to die? No. No matter how big the mistake, that never warrants ending your life. </div><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUUPJT-7UDPZXo-0CwAHBZPVNOdSiktX7iT7wayhYNPMQThkUsLcK0I8FFJ06vTsUICTk1QV2aDxXShl5LmXz7F9HFWqNIfDJ4cNXSOGgYsvPRJJtczKyagtgILTwk04gsG3SoL2-rmN2VEke3Ah8ZFl6yfaFKcmDaGd6Bzo-j9rGuxervqa51Zcyj2A/s1500/gustavo-arnal-bed-bath-and-beyond-090522-a2bb3d8a3ae846c49466c3a829b9040c.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1500" data-original-width="1500" height="218" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUUPJT-7UDPZXo-0CwAHBZPVNOdSiktX7iT7wayhYNPMQThkUsLcK0I8FFJ06vTsUICTk1QV2aDxXShl5LmXz7F9HFWqNIfDJ4cNXSOGgYsvPRJJtczKyagtgILTwk04gsG3SoL2-rmN2VEke3Ah8ZFl6yfaFKcmDaGd6Bzo-j9rGuxervqa51Zcyj2A/w218-h218/gustavo-arnal-bed-bath-and-beyond-090522-a2bb3d8a3ae846c49466c3a829b9040c.jpg" width="218" /></a></div>I'm talking about this because, over the weekend, Gustavo Arnal, the CFO of Bed Bath & Beyond, jumped to his death from the 18th floor balcony of his Manhattan apartment. This happened in the midst of a lawsuit against him and other large stakeholders, claiming they engaged in a "pump and dump" scheme to artificially inflate the price of the company's stock, according to <a href="https://www.cnn.com/2022/09/04/business/cfo-bed-bath-beyond-jumps-off-nyc-tower/index.html">CNN</a>. <p></p><div style="text-align: left;">So, yeah, this guy may have screwed up; the verdict is still out on that, so I'm not going to accuse him of anything. But, no matter what, he didn't deserve to die. His wife didn't deserve to lose her husband, she didn't deserve to witness his suicide, and his daughters don't deserve to not have a dad.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Arnal was going through an insurmountable amount of stress at the time of his death — not only the fraud accusations but also the recent announcement that Bed Bath & Beyond is closing 150 stores and laying off 20% of its corporate and supply-chain workforce. We will probably never know the true reason for his death, but shame, guilt, social humiliation, actual/threatened reputation damage, and feelings of hopelessness — these are all risk factors of suicidal ideations. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">So, for anyone who is considering suicide because you don't see another way out, what do you do? </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">First and foremost, if you are at risk of suicide, call or text the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline at 988. Trained crisis counselors are on-hand, 24/7, to provide support for people in suicidal crisis or mental health-related distress. Maybe you don't feel comfortable talking to your friends and family about your mistakes, but counselors and therapists are unbiased, and they can help you move from crisis to hope. They can help you learn how to forgive yourself. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />Clinical psychologist Dr. Samantha Rodman writes on <a href="https://www.talkspace.com/blog/when-you-feel-trapped-in-a-shame-spiral-try-this/">Talkspace</a>, "A client can come in with something that feels shameful and awful, and if they finally get over the hump of not being able to mention it out loud or in writing, their shame decreases steadily over time. Speaking about a shameful thing to a kind, objective person, whether a therapist or a friend, can almost immediately give you some distance and objectivity yourself."</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div>There's a scene from season one of "This Is Us" that has always stuck with me — a man getting ready to jump off the balcony of a building at a work Christmas party. He sets down his drink and a letter to his daughter and takes off his watch and wedding ring right before the character Randall comes outside. He admits to Randall that he cheated on his wife and that he lost a lot of money making huge risks in trading stocks.</div><div><br /></div><div>"She filed (for divorce). It's broken; I broke it. And for no reason. ... My wife, my best friend is gone; my kid is gone; my career is gone. ... I lost a lot of money, mine and other people's. ... And I'm dealing with it all by myself," he said. And Randall responds, "God, man, you made a mistake. ... But there's always a chance that things will get better." </div><div><br /></div><div>I will always remember those words: "There's always a chance that things will get better." I want you to remember that. I want you to remember that there's always a chance things will get better. No matter what happened to you or what you may have done, you can always turn things around.</div><div><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Don't believe me? There are so many examples of people who have hit rock bottom and made huge mistakes — and, still, they turned things around. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">There's Kevin Hart, who admitted to his then-pregnant wife that he cheated on her, publicly saying, "I'm hoping that she has a heart to where she can forgive me and understand that this is not going to be a reoccurring thing and allow me to recover from my f***ing massive mistake." He owned up to his failure, and his wife stayed with him, saying, "He's a better man now because of it."</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />There's Martha Stewart, who served a five-month prison sentence for lying about her sale of ImClone stock. She has since rebuilt her career — debuting her "Martha Stewart Kitchen" food line, judging the reality show "Chopped," and becoming business partners and best friends with Snopp Dogg. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />And, of course, there's actor Robert Downey Jr., who cycled in-and-out of jail for possession of heroin and cocaine and for repeatedly missing court-ordered drug tests. He has since become one of the most successful leading actors in the United States and celebrates more than 15 years of sobriety. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />These are just a few examples out of countless others where people didn't let their mistakes define them. And you — no matter what you've done in your past — can do the same. I just wish we would've had the chance to see Arnal's comeback. I wish he could've grown old with his wife, and I wish he could have met his future grandchildren. But, now, we'll never know.</div>Monica Drakehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08712645346613506234noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5985134748198355292.post-69741282210107369652022-07-18T11:28:00.003-07:002022-07-25T06:23:43.387-07:00The new 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline will help save lives<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRyVUi60ijEAUEgD_NY9ZDF7Ijt7GDmq_IvK_lshrezoRlkmBvbMkhO_6B3vKsy74GXmFT-5cxQ8UVBUYltGSfOe_F2rRQxEzDzDtDX58QDLZgRfPPtcEh3-4SwDiDRnknwZAj5uqN0OBZX3v9neFYEe0qMyP6ek-6jcxZgtLvD9xohAogF7f5ZlnqMQ/s2121/GettyImages-1148775242.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1414" data-original-width="2121" height="595" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRyVUi60ijEAUEgD_NY9ZDF7Ijt7GDmq_IvK_lshrezoRlkmBvbMkhO_6B3vKsy74GXmFT-5cxQ8UVBUYltGSfOe_F2rRQxEzDzDtDX58QDLZgRfPPtcEh3-4SwDiDRnknwZAj5uqN0OBZX3v9neFYEe0qMyP6ek-6jcxZgtLvD9xohAogF7f5ZlnqMQ/w895-h595/GettyImages-1148775242.jpg" width="895" /></a><div class="separator" style="background-color: white; clear: both; color: #777777; font-family: Lora; font-size: 15px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgChjn0yqh5LWQRm_NAqSrFew0EMC6kPCxtPIUqNZG9pmTomG6Xf2e2MuMjXmzaT54hPh4AsSkOS9VJMXRdHmakgnIQNe3JOvQOHysnps796JcKzKqQbOcDGBvALsdtm4UdmzDDZZ8ce_8e_srptNjy8IliSXCd82BAI-s_vvxOX2GifQsLVZYjzlSTQQ=s2230" style="color: #ceb23d; margin: 0px 1em; padding: 0px; text-decoration-line: none;"><img border="0" data-original-height="137" data-original-width="2230" height="57" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgChjn0yqh5LWQRm_NAqSrFew0EMC6kPCxtPIUqNZG9pmTomG6Xf2e2MuMjXmzaT54hPh4AsSkOS9VJMXRdHmakgnIQNe3JOvQOHysnps796JcKzKqQbOcDGBvALsdtm4UdmzDDZZ8ce_8e_srptNjy8IliSXCd82BAI-s_vvxOX2GifQsLVZYjzlSTQQ=w915-h57" style="border: none; height: auto; margin: 0px; max-width: 100%; padding: 0px;" width="915" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRyVUi60ijEAUEgD_NY9ZDF7Ijt7GDmq_IvK_lshrezoRlkmBvbMkhO_6B3vKsy74GXmFT-5cxQ8UVBUYltGSfOe_F2rRQxEzDzDtDX58QDLZgRfPPtcEh3-4SwDiDRnknwZAj5uqN0OBZX3v9neFYEe0qMyP6ek-6jcxZgtLvD9xohAogF7f5ZlnqMQ/s2121/GettyImages-1148775242.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a></div></div><p></p><div style="background-color: white; color: #777777; font-family: Lora; font-size: 15px; margin: 0px 1em; padding: 0px;"></div><p>About seven or eight years ago, I went through a bad bout of depression. I remember sobbing in my living room in my apartment by myself. I wasn't thinking about my future. I wasn't thinking about the people who loved me. All I could think was, "I just want the pain to stop." </p><p>Although I wasn't in my right mind, thankfully I had a brief flash of clarity when I realized, "I need help." Since I am active in the mental health community, I had a crisis line volunteer's phone number programmed in my phone. And I called her.</p><p>She was the one who talked me off the ledge. She was the one who validated my feelings and reminded me, "These feelings will pass. It may not feel like it now, but things will get better." And obviously things did get better, but, at the time, I couldn't see past that moment until someone who was trained and knew the exact right thing to say helped me through it. </p><p>When you're considering suicide, you don't have time to make an appointment with your psychiatrist or counselor. When you're considering suicide, it's all-consuming and you probably don't have the critical thinking capabilities to sit there and research resources. When you're considering suicide, you need help immediately! And most people don't have the luxury of an expert's cell number, programmed into your phone, like I did.</p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijdl7csZHyGFQjheDcYLRWOYLwRT6vfLtB8NZxF1kJNC9TsvubBGhmSUkCLQ6n4S2BeiQFfJGgea-tBA9btbPlt5icVXgvJw3V8FAxueWzkKpFujb0u5uupDJQioWV8g-n5oE0RJjW1hvvTvV40QaG4KyorVI27jcthXA2k5dEnUx6ZrGNkycUfmKEbA/s273/988-jobs-banner.png" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="273" data-original-width="269" height="181" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijdl7csZHyGFQjheDcYLRWOYLwRT6vfLtB8NZxF1kJNC9TsvubBGhmSUkCLQ6n4S2BeiQFfJGgea-tBA9btbPlt5icVXgvJw3V8FAxueWzkKpFujb0u5uupDJQioWV8g-n5oE0RJjW1hvvTvV40QaG4KyorVI27jcthXA2k5dEnUx6ZrGNkycUfmKEbA/w178-h181/988-jobs-banner.png" width="178" /></a></div>That's why having a quick, accessible, easy-to-remember resource can mean the difference between life and death. So, the fact that, as of July 16, the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline has its own three-digit number — <a href="https://www.samhsa.gov/find-help/988/key-messages">988</a> — is huge for the mental health community. <p></p><p>When someone is in the middle of a crisis, chances are they won't remember the Lifeline’s previous number at 1-800-273-8255 (although calling that number will still get you to the same services). But, if you have even a second of lucid thought in the middle of your suicidal ideations, you will likely remember 988 — which will hopefully become just as engrained in our brains as "911." </p><p>When you call or text 988, you will be connected with a counselor from a Lifeline crisis center who will listen, work to understand the problem, provide support and share resources that may be helpful.</p><p>“This is one of the most exciting things that has happened (in mental health care)," Dr. Brian Hepburn, a psychiatrist who heads the National Association of State Mental Health Program Directors, told the <a href="https://apnews.com/article/mental-health-hotline-988-ac50f02b74b8b89be5592be3f3605ff5">Associated Press</a>. </p>With this change to a three-digit number, the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration expects calls to more than double within the next year. So the lifeline is in need of more counselors and volunteers to help with their mission. For those interested, visit <a href="https://www.samhsa.gov/find-help/988/jobs">SAMHSA’s 988 jobs page</a>. <p></p>Monica Drakehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08712645346613506234noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5985134748198355292.post-73930325191965077462022-06-09T10:01:00.011-07:002022-06-09T11:17:59.083-07:00When life feels pointless, what should you do? <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLuElAHP9iqgbiLPDZnxgwNdyFhrnhXgusAUFzaZcj44vzldAAh4vDB3PyDMe6PU-vNXehuoVcV-40X1yZiDwMV0e4sapNxII-u-hobhJoC60iVYMwe0gcFmuvJlQiBayc-r1f3ytU51ZAJhPyGyKCytva3D5XsBOPP316idmp_afAor4jsYc9S0Ov6w/s5559/GettyImages-903397432.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="3706" data-original-width="5559" height="609" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLuElAHP9iqgbiLPDZnxgwNdyFhrnhXgusAUFzaZcj44vzldAAh4vDB3PyDMe6PU-vNXehuoVcV-40X1yZiDwMV0e4sapNxII-u-hobhJoC60iVYMwe0gcFmuvJlQiBayc-r1f3ytU51ZAJhPyGyKCytva3D5XsBOPP316idmp_afAor4jsYc9S0Ov6w/w915-h609/GettyImages-903397432.jpg" width="915" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgChjn0yqh5LWQRm_NAqSrFew0EMC6kPCxtPIUqNZG9pmTomG6Xf2e2MuMjXmzaT54hPh4AsSkOS9VJMXRdHmakgnIQNe3JOvQOHysnps796JcKzKqQbOcDGBvALsdtm4UdmzDDZZ8ce_8e_srptNjy8IliSXCd82BAI-s_vvxOX2GifQsLVZYjzlSTQQ=s2230" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="137" data-original-width="2230" height="57" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgChjn0yqh5LWQRm_NAqSrFew0EMC6kPCxtPIUqNZG9pmTomG6Xf2e2MuMjXmzaT54hPh4AsSkOS9VJMXRdHmakgnIQNe3JOvQOHysnps796JcKzKqQbOcDGBvALsdtm4UdmzDDZZ8ce_8e_srptNjy8IliSXCd82BAI-s_vvxOX2GifQsLVZYjzlSTQQ=w915-h57" width="915" /></a></div><div style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"></div><p>In the series finale of the show "This Is Us," these words said by the character Randall Pearson stuck with me: "A depressing thought for a depressing day: It all seems so pointless. ... Now she's gone, and yet the birds are chirping, and I'm aware that I'm hungry, and five minutes ago I thought about work. It all seems so pointless."</p><p>Randall was talking about how pointless life seems after someone dies. And these words hit home especially hard since, earlier that same day on Tuesday, May 24, an 18-year-old walked into Robb Elementary School in Uvalde, Tx. and fatally shot 19 students and two teachers. Then, only eight days later, a gunman opened fire at Saint Francis Hospital in Tulsa, Okla. — killing two doctors, a receptionist, and a patient's husband. </p><p>And it's hard to feel like anything matters when so many people with so much life left to live had their futures ripped away from them. Everyday life and all the stupid little worries that come with it — I couldn't help but think, "What's the point when life can abruptly end for absolutely no reason at all?"</p><p>So, how can you find joy or even want to leave the house when it seems like you just keep hearing bad news after bad news? Being prone to depression myself, it scares me when I start to think, "I don't want to live in a world where people treat each other like this," because this thought starts with the words, "I don't want to live..." </p><p>First and foremost, pay attention if you have symptoms of depression — which are different than just feelings of sadness. Sadness is a natural human reaction to loss, but it is temporary and doesn't affect your daily life. Depression, on the other hand, lasts for at least two weeks and can continue for months and even years without treatment. </p><p>Symptoms of depression include: Constant feelings of sadness and worthlessness, loss of interest in activities you used to enjoy, abnormal sleeping and eating patterns, feelings of unwarranted guilt, and difficulty concentrating. Depression can affect all aspects of your life — your relationships, your work and even your will to live. </p><p>If you think you may be experiencing depression or another mental illness, talk to your primary care physician, who can treat mental health issues or refer you to a psychiatrist or therapist for additional help. You can also visit <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us">Psychology Today</a> and click "Find a therapist" to find someone located within your zip code. If you are experiencing suicidal ideations, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, which is available 24/7 by calling 800-273-8255, or visit <a href="http://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat">suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat</a> to chat online. </p><p>Below are some other things you can do when life feels pointless. These suggestions are supplementary to therapy because, just like you can't treat diabetes or asthma or another physical illness on your own, you also can't treat depression without the help of a health professional. </p><h3 style="text-align: left;"><b>Make a list of the things you can control</b></h3><p>Oftentimes, life feels pointless because so much of it feels out of our control. So, instead, focus on the things you can control and the goals you can work towards. You can't control how/when the people you love will die, but you can control the time you spend with them and the things you say to them today. You can't control how/when YOU will die, but you can control how you spend the time you have before that happens. You can't control how others treat you – but you can stop wasting your time on people who treat you poorly and less than you deserve. </p><p>"Recognizing the control you do have over some things in your life might help you feel better. It might help to do what you can and surrender the rest," Edie Weinstein, a licensed social worker and journalist in Philadelphia, told <a href="https://psychcentral.com/blog/coping-with-what-you-cant-control#focusing-on-what-you-can-control">PsychCentral</a>. </p><h3 style="text-align: left;"><b>Do something good for someone else</b></h3><p>One way to help make your life feel less meaningless is to do something that will help someone else. It's hard to feel like your life is pointless when something that you directly did made a difference or helped someone else feel better. That's why I'm writing this blog – because it makes things feel less pointless when I know I can help even one person who is feeling similar to the way I'm feeling. </p><p>For you, maybe it's joining a cause that's important to you – like gun reform, in lieu of the recent tragedies (<a href="https://www.everytown.org/">click here</a> for some ideas of what you can do). It could also mean volunteering somewhere or reaching out to someone you know who is struggling and asking "How can I help?" Or it could be something as simple as complimenting a stranger on their outfit, or seeing your child's face light up when you take them to get ice cream.</p><h3 style="text-align: left;"><b>Get out of the house and engage in activities you used to enjoy</b></h3><p>You may not feel like it – but do it anyway. Last Saturday, I spent all morning/early afternoon, in bed or on the couch, alternating between tears, anger and anxiety. Finally, I made myself get up, put on rainbow make-up, and go to the local Pride festival. Even though, at the time, I just wanted to stay at home in my pjs and not do anything, making myself get up and go somewhere that non-depressed me would have loved, it made me forget about my sadness and made me smile, at least for a few hours. </p><p>For those who work at home, like me, it may be hard to escape your sadness and feel motivated when you're stuck inside the same four walls, alone, each day. I would suggest that you start working from a coffee shop or a library to get out of the house and experience a change of scenery. On a particularly hard day last week, I walked around downtown during my lunch break and then finished out the day at a nearby coffee shop, and it really helped.</p><p>If you can't find the motivation to leave the house or participate in activities, then find someone else to hold you accountable. Make plans with a friend to meet at the park or at the gym to exercise in the morning, RSVP "yes" to a friend's event instead of waiting until the last minute, join or start a book club, etc. </p><h3 style="text-align: left;"><b>Change your self-talk and focus on the things you like about yourself</b></h3><p>I know that practicing positive self-talk is easier said than done because it often feels like we can't control the way we think. That evil little voice in your head that says, "Ugh I suck! I'm worthless!" seems to pop into your head without any warning. But, instead, when you find yourself thinking that way, force yourself to refocus your thoughts. Maybe it's taking out a pen and paper and writing all the things you do like about yourself. Maybe, after every negative thought, it's forcing yourself to repeat the words, "This is my depression talking. It's not true. I am a wonderful, bad-ass human being." </p><p>Catherine Goldberg, contributor for the <a href="https://greatist.com/grow/what-you-can-control-for-happiness-success">Greatist</a>, wrote, "Recognizing and dispelling the 'Negativity Gnome' in your brain and replacing it with encouraging statements will start to reshape how you feel about the world. Try talking to yourself with compassion. For example, instead of telling yourself you’re not good enough, remind yourself that you are worthy of love and attention, or that it’s okay to make mistakes — we all do!"</p><h3 style="text-align: left;"><b>Recognize your importance in the life of others</b></h3><p>Your child wouldn't exist if it wasn't for you and relies on you to care for them. Or maybe it's your pet, who you gave a forever home and a better life. Your family and friends would be devastated if you were no longer here. What greater proof that life is not pointless than recognizing the meaning your life holds for the people and animals in it. </p><p>For Nic Sheff, producer of Netflix's "13 Reasons Why," he stopped his suicide attempt and made himself throw up the pills he consumed when he heard his dog scratching on the bathroom door.</p><p>"I opened it and saw the stray hound dog I’d recently found under a truck on the outskirts of town. She’d been close to death herself when I took her in. She cried and whined now, looking up at me. It was like she could sense she’d almost lost me. And I held on to her and cried," he said in a letter written for <a href="http://vanityfair.com/hollywood/2017/04/13-reasons-why-suicide-controversy-nic-sheff-writer">Vanity Fair</a>. </p><p> "(I had) stopped just long enough to remember my dog in the other room—and to remember that if I can just hold on, and not give up, eventually, one day, it does get better. Every time."</p><h3 style="text-align: left;"><b>Do something lighthearted</b></h3><p>While I'm a big proponent for talking about your emotions, sometimes when you keep focusing on the sadness, it only makes things worse. For instance, when I'm having a panic attack, talking about my panic attack doesn't help. People fussing over me and asking me what's wrong, it only makes things worse. What does help is someone telling me a joke or talking to me about a TV show/movie, or literally anything but the panic attack. So ask your friend to text you a funny meme or gif. Turn off the news and, instead watch a funny TV show or your favorite comfort movie. Stop sitting in silence and turn on an upbeat song and dance like a crazy person around the house. </p><h3 style="text-align: left;"><b>Remember that you're not alone </b></h3><p>As they say in "High School Musical," we're all in this together! Life is hard. Really hard. And it's random. Oh god, life is so freaking random. But that doesn't mean it's pointless. </p><p>According to an article on the <a href="https://www.unitedwecare.com/is-life-pointless/">United We Care</a> mental health platform: "Life does not need to have a grand purpose. Individual human beings have to add smaller objectives and personal meanings to make life meaningful. The most valid reason for life not being pointless is the unique existence of every human being."</p><p>"There is so much to do if you look around. Humans have unique attributes to enjoy life more than any other life form. Life can be hardly pointless if one appreciates its little joys."</p>Monica Drakehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08712645346613506234noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5985134748198355292.post-73418883028950634562022-05-24T08:36:00.006-07:002022-05-24T08:46:11.846-07:00Playtime and physical activity can improve yours and your children's mental health <p><i></i></p><p><i><i></i></i></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><i><i><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-CdAhiYslZJLVhDV4HzeF1mWFrNDOTQ7wOGDvmgHXub_m7VaeLkUlhbel36G2H74rxFSZLY26ed1JtR5ngUHIrT7yXRwuv6CyZynMu2Acopl55UkH6BAAbvZEJSNuOUYtAUe2U3bULoh6kuM8NajyLrm8im3bzQzZfFt_SLS-8U3XeNmWlt-wV143dw/s590/Mike%20Lerchenfeldt.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="590" data-original-width="512" height="343" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-CdAhiYslZJLVhDV4HzeF1mWFrNDOTQ7wOGDvmgHXub_m7VaeLkUlhbel36G2H74rxFSZLY26ed1JtR5ngUHIrT7yXRwuv6CyZynMu2Acopl55UkH6BAAbvZEJSNuOUYtAUe2U3bULoh6kuM8NajyLrm8im3bzQzZfFt_SLS-8U3XeNmWlt-wV143dw/w298-h343/Mike%20Lerchenfeldt.jpg" width="298" /></a></i></i></div><i><i>Physical activity has been proven to relieve stress, improve memory, boost your overall mood and also treat mild to moderate depression and anxiety. </i><i>For Mental Health Awareness Month, local dad and middle school teacher Mike Lerchenfeldt shares how he gets to spend more time with his family while fostering a healthy lifestyle by prioritizing playtime. </i><p></p></i><p></p><p><b>By Mike Lerchenfeldt<br />Meant to Live Contributor</b></p><p>Exhausted. Tired. House is a mess after our kids pull out every toy that we own.</p><p>Kids are a tornado that can hit at any moment without notice. Not only do they destroy our house, but they suck up all our energy and time. Of course, we still love them, right?</p><p>This is our crazy, fun, yet exhausting, life.</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><p style="clear: both; text-align: left;">After we have taken care of our kids, we must find time to take care of ourselves. When we barely have time to see friends, read, or watch Netflix, we must try to squeeze in a workout – usually at the end of a full workday, which includes grading papers, working on lesson plans, and having virtual meetings with parents or students in addition to meal preparation and household chores. Not to mention our favorite activity, which is playing with our kids.</p><p style="clear: both; text-align: left;">This is the lesson that I have learned through being a parent over the past five years: It is all about PLAY! I want to live a long, healthy and fun-filled life with my children. For this reason, I have learned how to incorporate play time into my fitness routine. Utilizing fitness trackers and home workout apps, my family is heading in a healthy direction.</p><p style="clear: both; text-align: left;">When we are playing on the floor or wrestling with the kids, we are doing a workout alongside them, including variations of burpees, push-ups, planks or squats. The kids see these activities and want to be a part of them.</p><p style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Mystery workouts can be exciting, as well. Try using <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Covelico-Exercise-Dice-Kids-Kindergarten/dp/B096SLCLHK">workout dice</a> specifically designed for young children, which can offer numerous combinations of activities that will get everyone moving and improve balance, flexibility and motor skills. Our daughter will enthusiastically do jumping jacks now. Our son is the perfect size for a kettlebell when we are doing squats.</p><p style="clear: both; text-align: left;">As a family, we enjoy going on walks, hikes, jogs and runs outside with our dog. For winter, we bundle up with snow pants and other waterproof gear to stay warm. We go for a Christmas light viewing walk in our subdivision. Our 5-year-old daughter has become one of my favorite running partners. While she can’t necessarily run long distances, she loves to sprint with me back and forth throughout our yard.</p><p style="clear: both; text-align: left;">If sprinting doesn’t sound fun, try going on a walk or jog while your little one rides a bike or scooter. We listen to music, sing and have an amazing time together. Sometimes we will stop in the grass to do yoga stretches. She always tells me, “We have some fun, Daddy.”</p><p style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Not only are we having fun together, but we are developing our relationship with healthy activities. Overall, when we are outside, we are calm and happy.</p><p style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Gardening outside with family can also be a form of exercise and meditation that has a positive effect on our mental health. Physical activity decreases cortisol, the stress hormone, and increases endorphins. Unfortunately, the Detroit Metropolitan Area is often ranked as one of the unhealthiest places in the United States. Studies show that exercise not only improves our physical health, but it can also help our mental health.</p><p style="clear: both; text-align: left;">I believe in the magic of working out. It is my meditation. It is when I take deep breathes while slowing down my thoughts. It relieves my stress and nurtures my soul. It is when I think about what I am thankful for. It helps me feel better physically and mentally. I want to pass this passion on to my kids.</p><p style="clear: both; text-align: left;">We need to take care of ourselves both physically and mentally. One way we can combat anxiety, depression, and suicide are with fitness. Exercise – and play – is such a good tool not only for our physical health, but for nurturing our mental health and family relationships as well. We show our kids how and why it is important to brush our teeth. Why not show them the importance of physical activity?</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><table border="1" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="MsoTableGrid" style="border-collapse: collapse; border: none;"><tbody><tr><td style="border: 1pt solid windowtext; padding: 0in 5.4pt; width: 467.5pt;" valign="top" width="623"><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"></p><div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; font-weight: bold; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7sdIuN566TOby_WjAFsDdaV9_rWMqRSufZu6U54YVPS0ksMXniHat5X6v7tZ6IFqJUqsaUCPIIGfqI-s7W2L6qVSnb3cXtBfUhBl1eGTVxZ-DdliXtilGQrr3HUKQevPN9nUSdNBV4vc1vxIlFAnSzXXSHkTKINnR04Yach2FCxjam2obTOxjjsCTwA/s746/received_555626016144998.jpeg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="746" data-original-width="650" height="167" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7sdIuN566TOby_WjAFsDdaV9_rWMqRSufZu6U54YVPS0ksMXniHat5X6v7tZ6IFqJUqsaUCPIIGfqI-s7W2L6qVSnb3cXtBfUhBl1eGTVxZ-DdliXtilGQrr3HUKQevPN9nUSdNBV4vc1vxIlFAnSzXXSHkTKINnR04Yach2FCxjam2obTOxjjsCTwA/w146-h167/received_555626016144998.jpeg" width="146" /></a></div><div style="font-weight: bold; text-align: center;"><b>ABOUT THE AUTHOR</b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-weight: 700;"><br /></span></div></div><div>Mike Lerchenfeldt is a freelance writer from Detroit. This Dad of two likes exploring places and supporting local businesses. Through teacher exchanges, he has traveled to Japan and New Zealand.</div></td></tr></tbody></table></div></div>Monica Drakehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08712645346613506234noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5985134748198355292.post-50385896989413975532022-05-06T12:23:00.016-07:002022-05-06T13:35:03.571-07:00Moon Knight, a superhero with a mental illness, joins the Marvel Cinematic Universe <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh806M-sDNAvfr1zm1Mmb28sxpsQvYGqUb3vicifY5jk4fklUdaJ04LVkKAmPSdZ-qWimCrGIHB8z-_LDbJ8c3DZPBlPWaz2g8-V7Dc3TH5weyRZsKYqnDTTrlORzs192ySeHkZMgeMUYtB6fqOxaTRh3M3Lek9kVNsbbx6M6ztOPGaU6lvSR_GeuhxFA/s1348/MoonKnight.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="597" data-original-width="1348" height="415" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh806M-sDNAvfr1zm1Mmb28sxpsQvYGqUb3vicifY5jk4fklUdaJ04LVkKAmPSdZ-qWimCrGIHB8z-_LDbJ8c3DZPBlPWaz2g8-V7Dc3TH5weyRZsKYqnDTTrlORzs192ySeHkZMgeMUYtB6fqOxaTRh3M3Lek9kVNsbbx6M6ztOPGaU6lvSR_GeuhxFA/w936-h415/MoonKnight.jpg" width="936" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="background-color: white; clear: both; color: #777777; font-family: Lora; font-size: 15px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgChjn0yqh5LWQRm_NAqSrFew0EMC6kPCxtPIUqNZG9pmTomG6Xf2e2MuMjXmzaT54hPh4AsSkOS9VJMXRdHmakgnIQNe3JOvQOHysnps796JcKzKqQbOcDGBvALsdtm4UdmzDDZZ8ce_8e_srptNjy8IliSXCd82BAI-s_vvxOX2GifQsLVZYjzlSTQQ=s2230" style="font-family: Times; font-size: medium; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><img border="0" data-original-height="137" data-original-width="2230" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgChjn0yqh5LWQRm_NAqSrFew0EMC6kPCxtPIUqNZG9pmTomG6Xf2e2MuMjXmzaT54hPh4AsSkOS9VJMXRdHmakgnIQNe3JOvQOHysnps796JcKzKqQbOcDGBvALsdtm4UdmzDDZZ8ce_8e_srptNjy8IliSXCd82BAI-s_vvxOX2GifQsLVZYjzlSTQQ=s16000" /></a></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="background-color: transparent; text-align: left;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="background-color: transparent; text-align: left;">I love that, in the last two phases of the Marvel Cinematic Universe, we aren't just watching the stories of big tough white guys. Now, we're seeing different perspectives. </span>I think these stories — whether it's Black Panther, Captain Marvel, Black Widow, the Scarlet Witch, Shang-Chi and, now, Moon Knight — are so important because they show people who aren't men or who aren't white or who aren't neurotypical that they, too, can be superheroes. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /><div style="text-align: left;">I was instantly drawn to Marvel's latest TV show "Moon Knight" after hearing it was about a superhero with a mental illness. I immediately started watching because I knew, then and there, that this show would definitely be my cup of tea! </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />Not to give too much away for those who haven't yet watched, but Moon Knight is the alter ego of a man with dissociative identity disorder, a mental health condition characterized by the presence of at least two separate and distinct personalities. The disorder affects about 1% of the population, and it usually develops in response to childhood abuse or another traumatic event. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div></div><div style="text-align: left;">Moon Knight's identities are Steven Grant, a quirky British museum gift shop employee, and Marc Spector, an American mercenary and avatar for the Egyptian moon god Khonshu. Actor Oscar Isaac, who portrays Moon Knight, expertly switches between these two very different personalities (give this man an Emmy immediately)! </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />Issac said he did a lot of research on the disorder so he could respectfully represent it and put mental illness at the forefront of the show. He said that the memoir “A Fractured Mind" by scholar Robert B. Oxnam, who also has dissociative identity disorder, became his Bible while preparing for the role. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />"I think it was just about being honest to what Dissociative Identity Disorder is, and honest to what a lot of people have to deal with. I think for us it was about authenticity, more than even story communication," he said. "I really wanted to do a character study, a point of view experience, so you’re not sitting back and just watching the story unfold, you are within the eyes of Steven and experiencing this thing that’s happening to him."</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />Isaac said doing this show hit close to home for him because his uncle suffers from mental health issues. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />"He started crying watching an episode of 'Moon Knight' because, I think, it just felt like being seen," he said in an interview with <a href="https://www.esquire.com/entertainment/tv/a39520165/oscar-isaac-interview-moon-knight-star-wars/">Esquire Magazine</a>. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />I also recently learned that <a href="http://www.meant2live.net/2013/08/max-bemis-of-say-anything-look-into_23.html">Max Bemis</a>, the former frontman of one of my all-time favorite bands Say Anything, wrote several "Moon Knight" comic book issues as part of the Marvel Legacy publishing initiative. Bemis calls Moon Knight, "A book written by a mentally ill Jew about a mentally ill Jew," and said that writing it became his therapy. I have followed Bemis and his struggles with bipolar disorder for at least a decade; in fact, his openness about the disorder was one of the reasons I had the strength to first open up about my own struggles.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />As the TV show expands Moon Knight's reach to a whole new following of fans, maybe it will become like therapy for others with mental illnesses — causing them to stop being ashamed, stop feeling alone and to find the inspiration to open up about their mental health as well.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />Across social media, you'll see that people have fallen in love with both personalities of the Moon Knight. My hope is that, because of this show, people will show the same love and acceptance when they meet someone in real-life with this or any mental disorder. </div>Monica Drakehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08712645346613506234noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5985134748198355292.post-34207465911809343032022-05-03T11:53:00.013-07:002022-10-04T20:32:05.549-07:00Johnny Depp vs. Amber Heard: 'Domestic abuse is a behavior, not a symptom of a mental illness'<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjF1cda6TKeUAja6GPnYNQr7rxq47HhXYjVydL4pJxYLLrYOD9Zaso3Mbw-xrnsct6an9WMbkWMDbczxX_KSOrq6NUAdy_1W0HFdmjmG34aD179IxOaoAkTPw-bPZn-I7lCKBwydmT1iwB7St_7FztI--MK1KNr3kvsJakAeZDY0rAfQeq0ZJy4r-wmSQ/s2500/Heard-Depp.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1313" data-original-width="2500" height="567" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjF1cda6TKeUAja6GPnYNQr7rxq47HhXYjVydL4pJxYLLrYOD9Zaso3Mbw-xrnsct6an9WMbkWMDbczxX_KSOrq6NUAdy_1W0HFdmjmG34aD179IxOaoAkTPw-bPZn-I7lCKBwydmT1iwB7St_7FztI--MK1KNr3kvsJakAeZDY0rAfQeq0ZJy4r-wmSQ/w1081-h567/Heard-Depp.jpg" width="1081" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgChjn0yqh5LWQRm_NAqSrFew0EMC6kPCxtPIUqNZG9pmTomG6Xf2e2MuMjXmzaT54hPh4AsSkOS9VJMXRdHmakgnIQNe3JOvQOHysnps796JcKzKqQbOcDGBvALsdtm4UdmzDDZZ8ce_8e_srptNjy8IliSXCd82BAI-s_vvxOX2GifQsLVZYjzlSTQQ=s2230" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><img border="0" data-original-height="137" data-original-width="2230" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgChjn0yqh5LWQRm_NAqSrFew0EMC6kPCxtPIUqNZG9pmTomG6Xf2e2MuMjXmzaT54hPh4AsSkOS9VJMXRdHmakgnIQNe3JOvQOHysnps796JcKzKqQbOcDGBvALsdtm4UdmzDDZZ8ce_8e_srptNjy8IliSXCd82BAI-s_vvxOX2GifQsLVZYjzlSTQQ=s16000" /></a></div><p></p>Mental illnesses can be the cause of a lot of things. It can be the reason you randomly start crying in the middle of the day and the reason you have a distorted self-image. It can cause you to be impulsive, have frequent mood swings or feel uncomfortable in crowds. It can be the reason you sleep too much, or sleep too little. It can be why you can't get out of bed in the morning, why you haven't showered in days, or why there are dishes piled up in the sink.<div><p></p><div style="text-align: left;">Let me say it again: Mental illnesses can cause a lot of things. And these things are in no way your fault. But if you're an abusive person — well, I'm sorry but your mental illness is not to blame for that. That's all on you. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />"Conflating mental illness with cruelty adds to the stigma of mental illness. ... Repeating hurtful choices is just that – a choice. A nasty pattern of behaviour is not something that should be allowed simply because someone has a mental illness," writes Hattie Gladwell, reporter with <a href="https://metro.co.uk/2018/06/03/mental-illness-doesnt-excuse-treating-people-badly-7564873/">the Metro</a>. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">I'm bringing all this up, of course, because of the most talked about trial of the year — Johnny Depp vs. Amber Heard — and the fact that, last week, a psychologist testified that she diagnosed Heard with borderline and histrionic personality disorders. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />Experts say this trial is causing "untold damage" to people with personality disorders. Heard has been accused of some horrific things, such as throwing a vodka bottle at Depp and cutting off the tip of his middle finger, kicking a bathroom door into his head, and defecating in his bed. BPD is already one of the most stigmatized and misunderstood mental illnesses — and all of this certainly doesn't help. People are worried that Heard's diagnosis will perpetuate this stigma and the myth that mental illness causes people to act violently. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">But, as Nancy Erickson, an attorney on domestic violence legal issues, told <a href="https://www.domesticshelters.org/articles/identifying-abuse/abuse-cannot-be-blamed-on-mental-illness#:~:text=Abuse%20and%20Mental%20Illness%20May%20Overlap&text=The%20other%20half%20had%20various,symptom%20of%20a%20mental%20illness.%E2%80%9D">DomesticShelters.org</a>, "Domestic abuse is a behavior, not a symptom of a mental illness. ... Too many abusers want to claim they have a disorder. They’ll claim they’re depressed, and the depression is making them do that. No disorder makes you (do that)."</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">To be diagnosed with BPD, you have to exhibit at least five of the following nine symptoms: </div><p></p><ol style="text-align: left;"><li>Intense fear of abandonment</li><li>A pattern of unstable interpersonal relationships</li><li>Unstable self-image or sense of self</li><li>Impulsive and potentially self-damaging behaviors, such as promiscuous sex, eating disorders, binge eating, substance abuse or reckless driving</li><li>Suicidal or self-harming behavior</li><li>Instability and mood swings</li><li>Chronic feelings of emptiness</li><li>Inappropriate anger or difficulty controlling anger</li><li>Paranoid idealization, delusions or severe dissociation</li></ol><div style="text-align: left;">As you can see "being violent" is not a symptom. According to the <a href="https://www.borderlineintheact.org.au/living-with-bpd/bpd-myths-and-facts/https://www.borderlineintheact.org.au/living-with-bpd/bpd-myths-and-facts/">Women’s Centre for Health Matters</a>, "Those who suffer from BPD are genuinely suffering and do not choose to be this way. Unfortunately, many people dismiss those with BPD as manipulative, destructive, and violent. Media portrayals of people with BPD show them as violent because of strong tendencies towards angry outbursts, but this is a minute representation out of the hundreds of BPD trait combinations."</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />I've seen people across social media say they are now scared to talk about their own BPD because of Heard, and this makes me so sad. Just because she may have BPD, in no way is that a reflection of you. You may both have BPD, but that's where the similarities stop. She also has a history of anxiety – and so do I – but that doesn't mean we are anything alike. These are characteristics of hers, like blonde hair and green eyes, that have nothing to do with the alleged abuse. As Twitter user <a href="http://twitter.com/piablossom_x">Pia Blossom</a> wrote, "Having BPD does not make you an abusive person, being abusive makes you an abusive person." </div><p style="text-align: left;"></p><div style="text-align: left;">Please don't be ashamed of your mental health condition. I know that this diagnosis makes your life harder but one thing it doesn't do is make you a bad person. Talking about it, seeking treatment and continuing to live your life, day-by-day, no matter how difficult it may seem — that makes you a brave and resilient person. And that's definitely something to be proud of. </div></div>Monica Drakehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08712645346613506234noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5985134748198355292.post-60456413800751898072022-04-12T10:21:00.010-07:002022-04-12T20:29:16.624-07:00How to protect your mental health while dating<div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj86UW0Devb_9gcC36iO4sqfFyT0rFUGuOoty7Iq9h0YeQf6n7Zo3u8K_7NqrYuyGSdScXbLLL7LXLs4Y8n36oRVEpr8VnUWKxNX5ZhXIZ8jxGdB4k1x6KpwDPLkZyozNOw-V7oKpix-ia0eSOLciqyWHZz8MsaTLLlbZRuqhonlXqinKmUxtf3yUVRdg/s600/Fresh-movie.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="338" data-original-width="600" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj86UW0Devb_9gcC36iO4sqfFyT0rFUGuOoty7Iq9h0YeQf6n7Zo3u8K_7NqrYuyGSdScXbLLL7LXLs4Y8n36oRVEpr8VnUWKxNX5ZhXIZ8jxGdB4k1x6KpwDPLkZyozNOw-V7oKpix-ia0eSOLciqyWHZz8MsaTLLlbZRuqhonlXqinKmUxtf3yUVRdg/w852-h480/Fresh-movie.jpg" width="852"></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgChjn0yqh5LWQRm_NAqSrFew0EMC6kPCxtPIUqNZG9pmTomG6Xf2e2MuMjXmzaT54hPh4AsSkOS9VJMXRdHmakgnIQNe3JOvQOHysnps796JcKzKqQbOcDGBvALsdtm4UdmzDDZZ8ce_8e_srptNjy8IliSXCd82BAI-s_vvxOX2GifQsLVZYjzlSTQQ=s2230" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><img border="0" data-original-height="137" data-original-width="2230" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgChjn0yqh5LWQRm_NAqSrFew0EMC6kPCxtPIUqNZG9pmTomG6Xf2e2MuMjXmzaT54hPh4AsSkOS9VJMXRdHmakgnIQNe3JOvQOHysnps796JcKzKqQbOcDGBvALsdtm4UdmzDDZZ8ce_8e_srptNjy8IliSXCd82BAI-s_vvxOX2GifQsLVZYjzlSTQQ=s16000"></a></div><p></p>The horror movie "Fresh" pretty much epitomizes how terrifying modern dating is. Without giving any spoilers about the rest of the movie, "Fresh" starts out with Noa, the main character, going on a Tinder date. After the guy criticizes the way she dresses and yanks the leftovers she paid for, he asks if they can do this again sometime, and she responds, "I don't think we're really a match." He shoots back: "I was literally just being polite. You're not even my type. Good luck finding a guy, you stuck-up b*tch." </div><div><br></div><div>Dating can really put your mental health and your self-esteem through the ringer. I remember one time, during my single years, I hung out with this guy every Tuesday for a month, and when I asked if we could hang out on a Saturday, he called me clingy and needy and stopped talking to me. And it made me question myself, wondering if I really was asking for too much, instead of realizing um...this guy is probably either married or has a designated girl for every day of the week and was mad when I challenged his system.</div><div><br></div><div>I am thankful to now be in a healthy relationship —with a man who actually wants to see me everyday (it's a miracle). It's sad that, with all the bad dates I had been on previously, I used to think this kind of relationship was impossible. </div><div><br></div><div>But, I recently suffered from a cruel flashback to my dating life and a reminder of how hard the words and actions of people you just met can affect you. </div><div><br></div><div>I went to the bar with a friend, and, after returning from the bathroom, she told me that a guy hit on her and told her she was "more attractive than her friend" (aka me). And it shouldn't have bothered me. Who cares what this stranger thought of me? But the fact that, in order to hit on my friend, he also had to diminish the way I look — it shattered my self confidence and heightened my anxiety symptoms for days. </div><div><br></div><div>Those with depression, anxiety disorder and other mental health conditions are more likely to struggle with their self confidence. And, when you already have low self-esteem, when just one person says anything negative about you or does anything negative to you, you believe it because, well, that's the way you feel about yourself. </div><div><br></div><div>For those who are dating — especially in the age of online dating — you are in more situations than ever that can affect both your confidence and mental health (and this doesn't even take into account the additional anxiety about your personal safety with each new person you meet, but that's for another day and another blog post). The derogatory messages on dating apps. The ghosting. The games. The anxiety that comes from wondering "Will he/she text me back?" And sometimes insults when things don't work out. </div><div><br></div><div>So, what are some ways you can stop thinking it's a reflection of your own self worth when someone objectifies you or tells you they're not interested in you?</div><div><br></div><div><b>Remind yourself: Just because someone doesn't find you attractive, it doesn't mean you're not attractive. </b></div><div><br></div><div>I know it's easier said than done, but when someone doesn't want to be with you, you need to stop thinking it's because there's something wrong with you. Because there's not! It's something that's happened to the best of us and what you're feeling right now, please just know that you're not alone.</div><div><br></div><div>"Chemistry — the 'spark' or that feeling in your stomach you get when you’re around someone you think is attractive is a very subjective feeling not based on anything that makes logical sense," writes Megan Boley, copywriter for the relationship blog <a href="https://psiloveyou.xyz/its-not-your-fault-if-they-don-t-find-you-attractive-4b2d42a0d4b2">P.S. I Love you</a>.</div><div><br></div><div><div>"If someone you’re into turns you down because the sex wasn’t that good or because they just decided they aren’t attracted to you — you <i>can’t</i> take that personally. ... You didn’t do anything wrong. You’re still a stellar human being who’s interesting and beautiful and attractive, even if one person doesn’t think that you are."</div></div><div><br></div><div><b>Realize that some people are just emotionally unavailable — and there's nothing you can do about it.</b></div><div><b><br></b></div><div>On dating apps, you will definitely find your fair share of people who don't want anything more than "casual" or people who will consistently flake out on you. And you may think to yourself, "Well, I can change that! If they liked me enough, they would change!" Stop it! It's not you. They would treat anybody they meet this way.</div><div><br></div><div>"No matter how gorgeous or funny they are, if you get involved with someone who can’t consistently line up their actions with their words, you’re going to be miserable with them. So do your future self a favor and just say no to psychological stunted Romeos and emotionally immature Juliets," writes psychologist and blogger Nick Wignall on <a href="https://medium.com/personal-growth/7-signs-youre-dating-an-emotionally-immature-adult-52fcbee7701b">Medium</a>.</div><div><br></div><div><b>And realize that some people are just plain cruel.</b></div><div><b><br></b></div><div>There are plenty of cowardly and just plain cruel people in the world (and if you've watched the movie "Fresh," you'll see multiple examples of this!) And, when you're online dating, you are bound to find some of these people, and oftentimes people are even more cruel when hiding behind a computer. Just know that you didn't do anything to deserve the way you're being treated. </div><div><br></div><div><a href="https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/2019/04/10/daters-have-you-been-cloaked-its-newest-term-particular-dating-app-annoyance/">Washington Post</a> staff writer Lisa Bonos recounted a time when she was waiting for a date to show up at the bar — and then realized that, not only was he not showing up, but, instead of canceling like a minimally decent human, he had blocked her on the dating app so she couldn't contact him. Stories like this are, unfortunately, not uncommon, and if something like this happens to you, instead of placing blame on yourself, thank your lucky stars that they showed their true colors early on so you didn't have to waste anymore time on them. </div><div><br></div><div><b>Identify your feelings and let yourself grieve.</b></div><div><b><br></b></div><div>It sucks when things end. And there shouldn't be any timeline for that. I know people who have had a relationship end after 4+ years and they were relieved — but then had things end with someone else after only a couple dates and they were devastated. Let yourself feel how you feel because, often, when you try to force yourself to stop, it only makes it worse. So take that time to cry while watching break-up movies and eating chocolate. When you identify how you're feeling and realize your feelings are valid, then you're giving yourself that time to mourn and then move on. </div><div><br></div><div><b>Know your own power when it comes to dating too.</b></div><div><br></div><div>When you struggle with your self-esteem, you may be unconsciously giving all the power to the other person. You may be overlooking the things that just aren't right because you want to feel wanted by another person. You may feel like you're the one being rejected all the time — but you need to realize your own self-worth. If you don't feel that "spark" or you're not being treated the way you deserve, take your power back and you end things. Dating isn't a one-way street; it's about what you want too. </div><div><br></div><div><b>Connect with friends.</b></div><div><br></div><div style="text-align: left;">As they say in <i>Sex and the City</i>, "Maybe our girlfriends are our soulmates and guys are just people to have fun with." Remember to regularly meet up with friends when you're dating —because having those people you can rant to about the latest date-gone-wrong and having your friends remind you of your worth and how much they love you, it really is a life saver. Right after my last break-up, my friend came over to my apartment within 30 minutes after my ex left, and we drank wine, talked crap, and watched the movie "John Dies at the End" (because, well, I wanted to watch anything but a romance flick). And that was definitely the kind of therapy I needed right then. </div><div><br></div><div><b>If you're feeling a strain from dating, take a break.</b></div><div><br></div><div>I took a dating hiatus for several months at the end of 2016 after dating pretty consistently for more than two years. I was emotionally exhausted and didn't want to get to know anyone else just to have it end and start all over again. </div><div><br></div><div>Just like occasional breaks from social media, I think breaks from dating are also necessary for your mental health and to make time to focus on yourself and your own needs. Spend the time you would have spent dating on a new hobby, going to the gym, traveling, taking some classes, getting an extra part-time job to get that moo-lah, etc. </div><div><br></div><div>Also, have you ever heard the saying "Good things come when you least expect it." For me, during that break from dating, I actually ended up finding my current boyfriend, who I've been in a relationship with for the last five years. He kept in contact with me for six months, even though I kept avoiding him whenever he asked me out on a date because I figured, "What's the point? It's not like it's going to work out anyway." But because I took that break from dating, it opened my eyes to the fact that there was a good, stable man out there who liked me enough that he was willing to wait six months for me to be ready to date again.</div><div><br></div><div>I'm not saying this should be your reason for taking a break from dating but — hey — you never know what can happen. Your break could reveal to you the people who are actually worth it. </div><div><br></div><div>For more ideas on things to do instead of dating, read this article on <a href="https://thoughtcatalog.com/heidi-priebe/2015/08/30-things-to-do-instead-of-falling-back-in-love/">Thought Catalog</a>. </div>Monica Drakehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08712645346613506234noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5985134748198355292.post-7420259403327544342022-03-30T14:40:00.006-07:002022-04-19T06:56:32.517-07:00Women's History Month: Recognizing the women who revolutionized the psychology field<div style="text-align: left;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxcDNg72JUQwnZTcC4Py7sQQfdBCr0j7pUiBfCb83aqsOqGPOlSk1S31VLUI5nMCIUymrN3YsJwWrEkdRq3hrZjyzNFFVlzzaN9YTTiF6zkukvnYkNIj44bEAHiNv70LT7EkL8vdoRb1kQMKz62HFl9iZTztgY5SqA_uHSq1HSS7lsnvO8XDD6PLSptg/s1280/Womens-History-Month.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="720" data-original-width="1280" height="509" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxcDNg72JUQwnZTcC4Py7sQQfdBCr0j7pUiBfCb83aqsOqGPOlSk1S31VLUI5nMCIUymrN3YsJwWrEkdRq3hrZjyzNFFVlzzaN9YTTiF6zkukvnYkNIj44bEAHiNv70LT7EkL8vdoRb1kQMKz62HFl9iZTztgY5SqA_uHSq1HSS7lsnvO8XDD6PLSptg/w904-h509/Womens-History-Month.jpg" width="904" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgChjn0yqh5LWQRm_NAqSrFew0EMC6kPCxtPIUqNZG9pmTomG6Xf2e2MuMjXmzaT54hPh4AsSkOS9VJMXRdHmakgnIQNe3JOvQOHysnps796JcKzKqQbOcDGBvALsdtm4UdmzDDZZ8ce_8e_srptNjy8IliSXCd82BAI-s_vvxOX2GifQsLVZYjzlSTQQ=s2230" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><img border="0" data-original-height="137" data-original-width="2230" height="56" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgChjn0yqh5LWQRm_NAqSrFew0EMC6kPCxtPIUqNZG9pmTomG6Xf2e2MuMjXmzaT54hPh4AsSkOS9VJMXRdHmakgnIQNe3JOvQOHysnps796JcKzKqQbOcDGBvALsdtm4UdmzDDZZ8ce_8e_srptNjy8IliSXCd82BAI-s_vvxOX2GifQsLVZYjzlSTQQ=w905-h56" width="905" /></a></div><p></p>In college, I minored in psychology, and, in my classes, we learned all about the "founding fathers" of psychology — Sigmund Freud, Carl Jung, William James, Ivan Pavlov and Alfred Adler. But, just like in most of history, women are often left out — even though, today, psychology is a much more female-dominated field. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />So, for Women's History Month, I wanted to highlight some of the women who revolutionized the field and helped the world, slowly but surely, realize that mental health is just as important as physical health. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><h3 style="text-align: left;">Mary Whiton Calkins</h3><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtZjXIuPPvw8whv7ASWTzNrH2FNgA9Zo1pMi4S0kbfGp_yyWr5qftIAxdZJGYVEZ722y_irXbPHTj0gvKRAr89tQdM-PG6In2OMCBS1RzU7_e4X78Tu8vI24_Ltqoq5Z4GHDesjU8Zk38algZhrT5eB7CyJlZB8eBe5dvZDCYnS4mDyd7j36KbnbS8Vg/s300/Mary_Whiton_Calkins.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="300" data-original-width="262" height="229" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtZjXIuPPvw8whv7ASWTzNrH2FNgA9Zo1pMi4S0kbfGp_yyWr5qftIAxdZJGYVEZ722y_irXbPHTj0gvKRAr89tQdM-PG6In2OMCBS1RzU7_e4X78Tu8vI24_Ltqoq5Z4GHDesjU8Zk38algZhrT5eB7CyJlZB8eBe5dvZDCYnS4mDyd7j36KbnbS8Vg/w200-h229/Mary_Whiton_Calkins.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>Calkins was the second woman in history to complete the work necessary for a PhD in psychology. But the Harvard Corporation only recognized her as a "guest" instead of a student because they did not officially admit women and refused to award her the degree she deserved — even posthumously. </div><div><br /></div><div>The research she did on memory while studying at Harvard was crucial to the cognitive revolution — yet, at the time, male psychologists took credit for her work. Today, we know that Calkins was the one to invent the test where participants are shown a series of colors and numbers and are asked to recollect what number is paired with each color. She was also the first female president of the American Psychological Association in 1905 and the American Philosophical Association in 1918. </div><div><br /></div><h3 style="text-align: left;">Mamie Phipps Clark<br /></h3><div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMgLW8oDG2RNmrQ-MTyhz-7krUvf5bt-_BzVYW7V0GW9yKw518HTjhRldwMxkf5UJAfBa7Jb97FIZF_yJHphPTxFk1XgTerLjWcwvOfzqol3v3okcWiexvcHyQfZ82-uEtSogHwjEzTqfdVjbTxkwYxEm_7pg9tZacU9WnJP90vfwF--HkJ02tOhHBOA/s657/Mamie-Clark_Columbia.jpeg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="657" data-original-width="511" height="258" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMgLW8oDG2RNmrQ-MTyhz-7krUvf5bt-_BzVYW7V0GW9yKw518HTjhRldwMxkf5UJAfBa7Jb97FIZF_yJHphPTxFk1XgTerLjWcwvOfzqol3v3okcWiexvcHyQfZ82-uEtSogHwjEzTqfdVjbTxkwYxEm_7pg9tZacU9WnJP90vfwF--HkJ02tOhHBOA/w200-h258/Mamie-Clark_Columbia.jpeg" width="200" /></a></div>Clark, the first Black woman to earn a degree from Columbia University, is known for studying the psychological effects of segregation on African American children. She conducted a series of experiments in the 1940s — known as the "doll tests" — with her husband Kenneth. They used four baby dolls, two black and two white, and asked Black children between the ages of three and seven to identify the color and which doll they preferred. A majority of the children said they preferred the white doll and called the black doll "bad." </div><div><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">With these findings, the couple theorized that segregation at schools made African American children feel inferior and that these feeling would affect them for the rest of their lives. The results of these tests led the Supreme Court to rule that separating children in public schools on the basis of race was unconstitutional.</div></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div><div><h3>Leta Stetter Hollingworth</h3></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPzMzllUG5pisVwTsuG42_aUBCME0fe5OxwR0mSLCBu51JXPB5WsYFUyYCwz6qb5bTevwXzl_ZH_PENDuFPzcKlkvM0uWnYJPHdzhGNwM4kCRFaxy5L5AiJ3P16vamvn2rCIBikuLg5VM1qsFxM9_2iWUxe0XZtAFWQXal50G9I7UjqkFLz88rSZIxcA/s805/Leta%20Stetter%20Hollingworth.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="805" data-original-width="636" height="262" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPzMzllUG5pisVwTsuG42_aUBCME0fe5OxwR0mSLCBu51JXPB5WsYFUyYCwz6qb5bTevwXzl_ZH_PENDuFPzcKlkvM0uWnYJPHdzhGNwM4kCRFaxy5L5AiJ3P16vamvn2rCIBikuLg5VM1qsFxM9_2iWUxe0XZtAFWQXal50G9I7UjqkFLz88rSZIxcA/w207-h262/Leta%20Stetter%20Hollingworth.jpg" width="207" /></a></div>When Hollingworth was alive, the prevailing opinion, which we all know now is grossly incorrect, was that women were "inferior" to men. She pioneered the psychological study of women and helped dispel the myths that were used in the argument against women's rights. </div><div><br /></div><div>Hollingworth, New York City’s very first civil service psychologist, is credited with tackling the variability hypothesis, which was traced back to Charles Darwin and stated that men exhibited a greater range of variation when it came to physical and psychological traits. Based on her studies, she found, if there is any difference, it favors women, according to the <a href="https://psychmuseum.uwgb.org/social/letastetterhollingworth/">Psychology Museum of the University of Wisconsin Green Bay</a>. </div><div><br /></div><div>She then decided to write her dissertation on the belief that, during menstruation, women couldn't be as productive as men. For three months, she tested men and women's performance on various tasks and found zero evidence that menstruation was related at all to poor performance. </div></div><div><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><h3>Anna Freud </h3></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXq4MRKGzX55WzHeTr5u_g8-fmP3VW6s7iAaUYYmrxYlFamanB6DKfAZhZIgePLy8rNphYhtLVP0OoB8taxchFlJWdalhYDUeOSDSYKCnuGiC5p9GaXyGkegcdOkTDuOlwWv1EFW4J6rk-NPgnITN7pUOXTfODHHb6-LI7yw9hMEkcmVNKsd_zNv7vmw/s900/anna-freud-2.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="750" data-original-width="900" height="170" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXq4MRKGzX55WzHeTr5u_g8-fmP3VW6s7iAaUYYmrxYlFamanB6DKfAZhZIgePLy8rNphYhtLVP0OoB8taxchFlJWdalhYDUeOSDSYKCnuGiC5p9GaXyGkegcdOkTDuOlwWv1EFW4J6rk-NPgnITN7pUOXTfODHHb6-LI7yw9hMEkcmVNKsd_zNv7vmw/w204-h170/anna-freud-2.jpg" width="204" /></a></div>Move over Sigmund Freud. There's another Freud who deserves recognition — Sigmund's sixth and youngest daughter Anna. She expanded on her famous father's ideas — helping develop the field of child psychology and introducing the concept of "defense mechanisms." After fleeing Austria due to the arrival of Nazis, she founded the Hampstead Child Therapy Course and clinic. According to the <a href="https://psychoanalysis.org.uk/our-authors-and-theorists/anna-freud">Institute of Psychoanalysis</a>, her work was instrumental in refining the insight into a child’s normal and pathological development.</div><div><br /></div><div><h3 style="text-align: left;">Mary Ainsworth </h3></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhyX8AjOKsUvHsnP9Bbuiz9wMKrJps7JB8BA4noAdh1vMUbh5eLRa7eGFznuSlZr_Oo-SiBAWoiLDR38afr9PkXnyZWIhGHVwE8rMEVzo7gdK4B1kH4xV0Eoo4B1KN5_XA_vNYsu07Kx-RHmAMUN6koOVI0fhEgmsqQJON6drwIXOleRMrS3wNPMh8F2Q/s200/Mary%20Ainsworth.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="200" data-original-width="200" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhyX8AjOKsUvHsnP9Bbuiz9wMKrJps7JB8BA4noAdh1vMUbh5eLRa7eGFznuSlZr_Oo-SiBAWoiLDR38afr9PkXnyZWIhGHVwE8rMEVzo7gdK4B1kH4xV0Eoo4B1KN5_XA_vNYsu07Kx-RHmAMUN6koOVI0fhEgmsqQJON6drwIXOleRMrS3wNPMh8F2Q/w200-h200/Mary%20Ainsworth.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>After studying mother-child interactions in Uganda, Ainsworth developed the Strange Situation assessment to study children's attachment to their caregiver. Researchers would observe children's reactions when their mother briefly left them in an unfamiliar room. Based on her research, Ainsworth concluded that there are three types of attachment: secure, anxious-avoidant and anxious-resistant. Her research inspired countless more studies on early childhood attachment and played an important role in our understanding of attachment today. <br /></div><div><br /></div><h3 style="text-align: left;">Karen Horney</h3><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_JdnaCOcfCCjyrCC7fkpMqmjT4W6lRzf6omZImotZV_knahycTg5cbHMsKyjP17AhiF5hwFl-ETDeWQmYFGinirvv-36PBnfwva8pQr35quigYUCmBIA5F1CDn4whVZvXlR3dhEOVBk-o3qyVqzoASViqaJitc1T7JiksWALLT3Ns5dkw8SJrLA_Ayg/s280/Karen_Horney.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="280" data-original-width="202" height="280" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_JdnaCOcfCCjyrCC7fkpMqmjT4W6lRzf6omZImotZV_knahycTg5cbHMsKyjP17AhiF5hwFl-ETDeWQmYFGinirvv-36PBnfwva8pQr35quigYUCmBIA5F1CDn4whVZvXlR3dhEOVBk-o3qyVqzoASViqaJitc1T7JiksWALLT3Ns5dkw8SJrLA_Ayg/s1600/Karen_Horney.jpg" width="202" /></a></div>Horney developed a theory of neurosis that is still prominent today. She viewed neuroses as coping mechanisms that are part of normal life, and she identified 10 neurotic needs —for affection and approval, for a partner, for power, for exploitation of others, for social recognition, for personal admiration, for achievement, for self-sufficiency and independence, for perfection, and for restriction of one’s life.</div><div><br /></div><div>Horney is also credited with generating more interest in women's psychology because of her critique of Sigmund Freud's theories. She refuted Freud's famous "penis envy" theory — countering it with her own "womb envy" theory. She said, "Is not the tremendous strength in men of the impulse to creative work in every field precisely due to their feeling of playing a relatively small part in the creation of living beings, which constantly impels them to an overcompensation in achievement?" </div><div><br /></div><h3 style="text-align: left;">Melanie Klein</h3><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg73eu7BygMRBO1GcN-5MsoRWLNPDwKl_9VJTcxYHw0UxHWoZ7cJAnVuy5F4a8CHGjx0Ee1IOxpbplxbkjPE3368fbuAJyMqpU6eic98284GfHrDVyLGZUyuAavKq5Szsc_4_8agkMzdgAQIAe8ylPUlZYNTkh_RGJtRGb3zsJy5Kf1Mpl0GuaaBLdomA/s1833/Melanie_Klein_c1912b-5af1aa353418c600387f7fd1.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1833" data-original-width="1833" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg73eu7BygMRBO1GcN-5MsoRWLNPDwKl_9VJTcxYHw0UxHWoZ7cJAnVuy5F4a8CHGjx0Ee1IOxpbplxbkjPE3368fbuAJyMqpU6eic98284GfHrDVyLGZUyuAavKq5Szsc_4_8agkMzdgAQIAe8ylPUlZYNTkh_RGJtRGb3zsJy5Kf1Mpl0GuaaBLdomA/w200-h200/Melanie_Klein_c1912b-5af1aa353418c600387f7fd1.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>Klein made major contributions in the field of play therapy and concluded that young children use play as a way to communicate. According to the <a href="https://psychoanalysis.org.uk/our-authors-and-theorists/melanie-klein">Institute of Psychoanalysis</a>, she found that children's play and the toys they use carry important symbolic meaning for them, and that this could be analyzed much in the same way as dreams could be analyzed in adults. While children may not be able to find the words to talk about their emotions in regular counseling sessions, Klein found that they can be psychoanalyzed by using play therapy to investigate their unconscious feelings, anxieties, and experiences. </div><div><br /></div><h3 style="text-align: left;">Eleanor Maccoby</h3><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0JU3apetEbKmm-V73FZXz7ikzvd-vj3kZIy3mpu2uIiLJ4WDOORfA4ow_hhoDxZ9dQaUgzz3M5wXylIvAZ6QFTG16TGi1aDznzC2PlrIqtdE7QViVwfB_HQEOy4AxYD47cDWMljGdRSBCy2s2GgBbo_po5GL4Q2Ha0xrad1pV1LfzPX8I0jvfeEoEsA/s250/Eleanor%20Maccoby.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="250" data-original-width="163" height="305" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0JU3apetEbKmm-V73FZXz7ikzvd-vj3kZIy3mpu2uIiLJ4WDOORfA4ow_hhoDxZ9dQaUgzz3M5wXylIvAZ6QFTG16TGi1aDznzC2PlrIqtdE7QViVwfB_HQEOy4AxYD47cDWMljGdRSBCy2s2GgBbo_po5GL4Q2Ha0xrad1pV1LfzPX8I0jvfeEoEsA/w199-h305/Eleanor%20Maccoby.jpg" width="199" /></a></div>Maccoby was the first woman to chair the psychology department at Stanford University and was also, reportedly, the first woman to deliver a lecture at Stanford while wearing a pantsuit. Other than rocking that power suit, she also wrote <i>The Psychology of Sex Differences,</i> the first large-scale review of the literature on gender differences, with developmental psychologist Carolyn Jacklin.</div><div><br /></div><div>"I read something by a Freudian clinic psychologist who published that the essential difference between men and women is that males are active and females are passive. ... And I would talk about how outrageous it was to talk about women as 'passive,'" Maccoby said. "We finally said, 'Let's see if we can put together the evidence for what sex difference there are.' And we began to comb literature. ... The book's basic message is that most of what we think about as essential differences between the sexes are myths. ... Men and women are alike; let's stop stereotyping them with these labels that are not true." </div>Monica Drakehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08712645346613506234noreply@blogger.com0