Friday, June 14, 2013

How to cope with the ending of a friendship

When you are friends with someone, you don't imagine the friendship ending.

That person has become like family to you. And you imagine the person being in your life forever.

But sometimes, friendships do end. And it hurts a lot — sometimes even more than the end of a girlfriend/boyfriend relationship. 

It's said that your life flashes before your eyes before you die. Well, in my experience, when a relationship dies, the memories of that friendship flash before your eyes as well. And it's torture. I remember the "I love you's" and the promise to be friends forever. A promise that wasn't kept when you realize that very real possibility that you may never see each other again. 

Sometimes a friendship ends abruptly over a fight. Sometimes it ends subtly after several unreturned phone calls, texts or emails. And sometimes it's the slow drifting apart. 

Here are some tips PsychCentral gives on how to cope with the end of a friendship:

1. Write a good-bye letter that will never be sent. Sometimes just getting those words out there can be very therapeutic. 

2. Let yourself remember. Let yourself mourn. And know that it's okay. If you don't give yourself that time, then you will never truly heal.  

3. Fill the space with something new.

4. Trust that you will not always feel this way and, just because a friendship ends, doesn't mean you should transfer this fear to your other relationships as well. Not everyone will leave. 


5. I know it's easier said than done, but don't take it personally. Don't think you deserved it. Think of the quote by Adlai E. Stevenson II, "Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for a while, leave footprints on our hearts, and we are never, ever the same." 

Even if it wasn't meant to last forever, there was a reason this person came into your life. And a reason they left as well — even if we can't yet see the reason. 

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